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S7

Monk · Season 7

Natalie, Monk and others in “Mr. Monk's 100th Case”

[Monk and Natalie are driving along a busy road, with Natalie splitting her focus between the road in front of her and the cameraman riding in the backseat]

There's been a breakthrough in the case, it's pretty exciting.

Don't look back! Why are you looking back?

So it turns out both victims worked at the same restaurant. It's one of those themed restaurants; it's called the Morbid Cafe, and the Captain wants Mr. Monk to go talk to the manager.

Okay, could you just pull over? Please, I'm feeling nauseous.

Did I mention he also doesn't like driving?

[Cuts to Monk and Natalie stepping into a restaurant with horror movie decor, followed by Novak's camera crew]

Oh my God, people actually eat here?

Yeah, Julie comes here all the time, she loves it. See all these props? They're from old horror movies.

You should call the Board of Health. [A man wearing vampire makeup steps through one of the curtains]

VMVampire Manager

[Staying in character] Welcome! I have been expecting you! You are from the police department, is that correct?

That's right. I'm Adrian Monk and this is Natalie Teeger.

VVampire

[Taking Natalie's right hand] Oh Natalie? What a "delicious" name. [He kisses Natalie's right hand]

Adrian Why are you talking like that?

VMVampire Manager

I don't know what you mean, but I see we go to the same tailor! Ooh...!

Mr. Gleckson, we'd like to talk to you about a woman named Cassandre Rank. I believe she used to work here.

VMVampire Manager

Yes... Cassandre Rank. She was a most delectable young girl. I remember drinking her blood; she had the most exquisite taste-

She was killed two days ago. Somebody strangled her. [The manager breaks character]

VMVampire Manager

What? Are-are you serious? Oh my God, you-you must have thought that, look-look you know that this is just a job, right? And this is not real blood; it's all makeup. Oh hell, and that stuff about drinking her blood? Oh crap-

When did she work here?

VMVampire Manager

Uh, about a year ago. But she only worked her for about a month; 'cause she got a part in a play or something and then she split. Nobody stays here that long.

There was another woman, a Barbara McFarland? She worked here too, didn't she?

VMVampire Manager

[Slipping back into character] Yes...! Barbara McFarland, she had a very delectable neck, I'm sure in fact-

She was killed too.

VMVampire Manager

[Breaking character] Oh come on! Why can't you just say that? Now I look like a monster; a real monster; and I'm not! [Stammers] Oh, oh, oh, yeah, I knew her. She was here for three months.

Yeah did they know each other? Barbara and Cassandre?

VMVampire Manager

I don't think so, I don't think they ever met. Cassandre left about a year before Barbara showed up, so-

All right, we're gonna need a list of your employees: everyone who worked here when they did.

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