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S7

Monk · Season 7

"Honest" Ramone, Natalie and others in “Mr. Monk Buys a House”

R"Honest" Ramone

So, you are a, ah, detective?

No, he's the best detective in the world.

Maybe not the world. Well, who's to say?

[Jake comes out of the other room]

JP"Honest" Jake Phillips

So, what's going on, Columbo? [Monk has placed a wheelchair at the foot of the stairs]

This is Joseph Moody's wheelchair. It was still in the garage.

JP"Honest" Jake Phillips

Who?

The old man who used to live here. He fell down these stairs. He had a private nurse who said he walked up [the stairs] to that landing. But look... [points to three of the steps] Here, here, and here. Tire tracks. They're a perfect match. And this. [Monk pulls out his tweezers and removes a piece of wallpaper from the wheelchair's frame] Wallpaper. [He walks up the stairs to the tiny rip, where he puts the torn piece in to the rip; it matches perfectly] You can see where it was ripped away. No, I think she wheeled him up these stairs.

JP"Honest" Jake Phillips

So you just put that together? Just like that? [Impressed] Fantastic!

And this. [Pulls a prescription out of the back of the wheelchair] Tribiteral. It's a new prescription. This is the stuff she said made him disoriented. [He hands it to Natalie]

It's never been opened. You think she killed him?

She lied about it. There must be a reason.

[Jake briefly raises his eyebrows. Cuts to Cassie Drake bringing groceries into her house. She turns on the lights]

JP"Honest" Jake Phillips

Hey Cassie. [Cassie is momentarily startled to see Jake sitting in an armchair, but casts a sigh of relief. She sets her grocery bag down on the floor]

CDCassie Drake

Jake! You scared me to death!

JP"Honest" Jake Phillips

Got your work on the night shift again, huh?

CDCassie Drake

Yeah.

JP"Honest" Jake Phillips

That sucks; throws off the whole internal clock. Gets it all out of whack, huh. [Pause; Cassie sets her keys down on the kitchen counter]

CDCassie Drake

How did you get in?

JP"Honest" Jake Phillips

Sliding door. It's broken.

CDCassie Drake

No it's not.

JP"Honest" Jake Phillips

No. It is.

CDCassie Drake

[Nervously] So, how's it going? When am I gonna see my share?

JP"Honest" Jake Phillips

See, buttercup, that's why I'm here: We--we ran into a little, "bump" in the road today. Guess who bought the house? [Pause] Adrian Monk. [Short pause]

CDCassie Drake

I don't know him.

JP"Honest" Jake Phillips

He's on to you, Cassie. [Cassie puts her hands up in a defensive position]

CDCassie Drake

Jake, it wasn't my fault! I didn't wanna kill him! [Jake starts to rise from his chair and pulls an awl from his toolbelt]

JP"Honest" Jake Phillips

I know.

CDCassie Drake

He would've told everybody! I really didn't have a choice!

JP"Honest" Jake Phillips

I know. [He stabs and kills her]

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