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S5

Monk · Season 5

Farmhand Oates and Monk in “Mr. Monk Visits a Farm”

[Oates is outside on the porch, and looks up to see Monk handcuffing himself to the grain drill]

Mr. Monk?

Oates? Oates! Thank, God! Where’s Randy?

He’s asleep. I can’t help but noticing that you’re handcuffing yourself to that grain drill.

I inhaled some reefer.

I got you.

It’s gonna kick in any minute.

Okay.

Here’s the thing. I can’t tolerate any drugs or medications. It’s my metabolism. I don’t know what…I don’t know what’s gonna happen to me. I might go berserk! I might hurt somebody. Oates, dude... here. Here. [Monk throws the handcuff keys to Oates] Listen, whatever happens, don’t unlock me. NO MATTER WHAT I SAY! Even if I’m begging you! Oh, my God. Here it comes! Oh, God! I think it’s starting!

We’re talking about marijuana, right?

UH-OH! [Stands up, and starts shaking, and jumping around] RIVERDANCE! Oh! Oh! I can feel it! I’m getting hungry!

Did you have dinner? Got some pecan pie in the fridge.

IT'S THE MUNCHIES! Oates, whatever you do, don’t put anything near my mouth!

Can do! But I gotta say, you know, I’ve had some experience in this area, and I don’t think you’re stoned at all.

No! Oh, no! I SEE LIGHTS FLICKERING!

Yeah. They’re fireflies. [The sprinklers start spraying water, and Monk gets drenched]

What was that? What was that?!

It’s 8:00! Irrigation sprinklers. [Monk suddenly calms down]

Do they come on every night all over the property?

Every night.

Oates. I know how he did it. I know how Belmont killed Randy’s uncle. Get me out of this.

Okie doke. One minute you're hand-cuffing yourself to a piece of farm machinery, sobbing like a schoolgirl, the next minute you're putting all the pieces together like Sherlock Holmes. Which is the real Adrian Monk?

Yeah, I like to think that a man is made up of many different–

I think it's the schoolgirl.

Yeah, you're probably right.

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