“Uh, look, I know he's a bit eccentric...” – Actor Playing Stottlemeyer, Monk ... TV Quotes Database

[Stottlemeyer and Disher are watching the actors playing them in a movie adaptation of "Mr. Monk and the Astronaut"]

APActor Playing Stottlemeyer

[Talking on prop cellphone] Uh, look, I know he's a bit eccentric, but Adrian Monk is the best damn investigator I've ever had so you tell the mayor if he goes I go. [Pauses] That's right. Lt. Disher! Lt. Disher, you got a minute? [A female Disher enters the room; the real Randy is embarrassed]

APActress Playing Disher

[Enters] Yes, Captain.

APActor Playing Stottlemeyer

Uh, what the hell do I say? I got it. The victim, the victim just received a check for fifty thousand dollars. Pretty weird time to kill yourself. What do you think?

APActress Playing Disher

I'll tell you what I think. I think the department doesn't appreciate you enough.

[Gets closer to the Stottlemeyer actor]

APActor Playing Stottlemeyer

Randi, what are you doing?

APActress Playing Disher

I'm doing what you taught me to do, Captain: following my instincts.

[They start kissing; the real Stottlemeyer and Disher are mortified]