Jay and Gloria in “My Funky Valentine”

[about a comedian] You're going to love him. Trust me, the guy's hilarious.

OK, tell me one of his jokes.

Well, he doesn't do jokes.

Does he have a mallet?

No.

So then how does he get hit in the head?

He doesn't get hit in the head. He makes observations. He tells the truth in a funny way - come on, he's been on Johnny Carson a hundred times.

Who the hell is Johnny Carson?

Oh, for God's sake.

Gloria and I are from different generations, and I won't lie, it isn't always easy. I mean, last week she thought Simon & Garfunkel were my lawyers.

No I didn't.

It's a joke.

I don't get it.

Maybe that's because there's no mallet.

Yeah, I wish I had a mallet right now.