[Eating dinner in dining room] Could I have some more mint sauce, please, Mum?
Haven't you got enough?
Well, you can never have enough mint sauce, really, can you, with lamb? Cheers... thanks, Mum. Cheers. [Pat leaves] What the frigging hell are you doing here?
Me and your dad had an agreement. We agreed to stay away from each other. And then someone who looks like me walks into the bank and clears my bank account. He broke the agreement. And now I'm breaking it, too.
What fucking agreem...? [Pat returns] Oh, here she is. Do you know... do you know what I'd really like with this, right now? It's gonna freak you out. Horseradish sauce.
What, with lamb?
I know! Please. Yes, please. It'd be awesome, cheers. It'd be nice, it'd be just... just... that's all. I'm just thinking, just to take the edge off the mint. You know what I mean? Cheers, Mum.
Okay.
Oh. [Pat leaves, to Dark Geoff] Get out now, dickhead. I'm not going anywhere. Fuck. I'm very comfortable in the bosom of my family.
It isn't your family! Get the fuck out of my bosom, dickhead.
[Pat returns] Oh, here she is. Ooh, give me that, give me that. Mm. Oh, yeah.
Mustard? You won't be able to taste your food.
Yeah, well, good! 'Cause it's disgusting! It disgusts me!
Rudy? Don't be so rude.
Please, can I just have a little bit of mustard, please? Sorry, Mum. Cheers, Mum. Thank you. [Pat leaves, to Dark Geoff] You have got exactly three seconds to get out of this house, or I swear to God I will not be held responsible for my actions, boyo. One. Fucking two. Two and... and a half. Two and three quarters. Three. Dick. Don't you fucking touch my mum. Seriously. Don't you fucking touch my mum.
Oh, I'm gonna touch her. I am gonna fuck her brains out. And then I'm gonna take that pathetic excuse for a man she calls a husband and I'm gonna cave his fucking skull in.
My dad? What have you done with my dad?
I am your dad. If you say anything to your mum, I'll hurt her. I'll really hurt her.
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