[Jess rings doorbell] No, no! What are you doing?! I'm mentally preparing myself, you fool!
[Opens door] What?
Bonjour. I am French and I am selling... la cheese.
You're selling cheese?
No, it is, um... how would you say? La fromage avec le milk... of la monkey francais.
Fuck off. [Closes door] Shit.
You're selling... monkey cheese?
So, no, no, no. I fucking panicked, didn't I? It was the first thing that sprung to mind. Shit!
Monkey cheese?
Well, you think of summat, then!
Double glazing.
Oh, well, really?! Really? That's original, isn't it? She already has it. She has double glazing. So, that's no sale.
[Reaches for doorbell] D'you want to try again?
No, I don't! Don't! Try again?! Christ! I can't tell her I'm not a French monkey-cheese salesman! I'm gonna look fucking ridiculous, aren't I? Right, and we wouldn't want that, would we? I'm not that guy, am I?
What guy? A French monkey-cheese salesman?
No, not a frigging French monkey-cheese.
The guy who does good noble shit and saves his... saves his parents' marriage. Well, you... you might be that guy. Maybe you just need a bit of practice. [They hear Tina within apartment]
I can't do this any more! [They look in front door but cannot see her so they do round back, peering in back door from a fence]
[Abusing Tina] I told you. I told you what I'd do if you ever tried to leave me.
Geoff, please, don't!
I will find you and I will hurt you.
Please!
Why do you do this? You make me like this. You're playing games with me. You think you can play games? Try it. Clean yourself up. You're fucking disgusting.
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