[Jess is pulling out and Rudy slams against passenger side] Stop! [Points to lock] You gonna do that? [Walks to vehicle rear] Fucks sake. [Opens trunk door] Ah. Buzzing. [Climbs in] Listen, what are you doing? Ooh. What you doing right now? [Climbs into front seat]
I'm going for a facial.
I'll give you a facial.
Excuse me?
[Laughs] Sorry. I disgust myself when I'm nervous. Fuck, it's small in here. What I meant to say was, would you mind giving me a lift to my dad's harlot's flat, please?
Why can't Finn do it?
Because Finn doesn't have any respect for the institution of marriage, it would appear. And he doesn't have a car. So... wagons roll!
[Checks hair in sun visor mirror] Right. How's that?
You're not going on a date with her.
Well, actually, yes, she is going on a date. She's going on a date with destiny. No one fucks with my family. No one fucks members of my family. Apart from other members of my family.
[Sees him walking] Your dad's here.
[Leaps into back seat] Shit! Right, start the engine! This was a terrible idea! You never should have made me come here. You're a fool!
This is a perfect opportunity for you to talk to both of them without your mum being around. You should confront him.
Will you come with me, please?
No.
Oh, well, what a selfish cunt.
Really?
No. Not at all. I can't do this. I can't do it on my own. I'm not... I'm not mature enough. You know what? I might have a big, lush pubic bush, but that does not maketh me a man. I'm a child. I'm masquerading in a man's body back here.
All right. Just stop talking about your lush pubic bush. I'll come with you.
I use a volumising conditioner, in case you're wondering.
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