[Snatches phone from Jess] Whoa! Post-op transgender genitalia, what! God, man, I always knew there was summat dodgy going on behind that sweet little face of yours. Not this shit, though, dude. Not chicks with dicks.
Give it to me.
Eh?
Give it back.
To be honest with you, you've gone up in my estimation somehow.
I'm not looking at them to get turned on.
Shit, what are you going to do? Are you going to get a dick put on?
Yeah. That's exactly what I'm doing, I'm going to get a dick put on.
Se- Se... for serious?
Well, I've always wanted a dick so I just thought, "What am I waiting for, "let's get a dick."
Fuckin' hell! Ohh... that's amazing. So what do they do? I mean, do you buy a dick or does someone donate you one?
You have to order them. You just tell them what colour you want, how long you want it and you go for a couple of fittings and they just stitch it on.
That's amazing. Isn't it?
Hmm-mm.
I'm going to be honest with you, though, the thought of you with your big floppy cock has kind of put me off my prawn cocktail crisps a bit!
[Takes bag from him] I'll have them. Bastard.
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