[Finn and Jess wake up in coffin freezer]
What the fuck?!
Who is that? Is that you?
Of course it's me! Who else would it be?
Oh, my God. What's that? There's something moving in me hand.
That's my tit!
Oh, sorry.
Just stop touching my tits!
I was trying to find me phone.
It's not in my bra! [Shines phone] There's no signal. You?
Never when you really need it.
[Shouts] Help! Help!
Shh. Hey. Relax. He's just messing with us. This is probably all part of some elaborate initiation ritual, you know, like in those posh private schools where they toast crumpets and eat each other's shit?
You are so naive. You're a pedophile's wet dream. "Hey, little boy. Do you want to come with me into the bushes and suck on my cock-shaped lollipop?" What?
Wasn't in the bushes. It was at me uncle's house. He had this... big, old house in the country. It was surrounded by cornfields. It was beautiful. I used to stay there in the summer when I was a kid. Every night, me uncle came to my room. I can still feel him on top of me... the smell of whisky and cigarettes on his breath... After he raped me... I'd feel his tears falling on me face... like salty rain. I'm joking.
You prick! I thought you were being serious. [Hits him] You dick!
Ow! Jesus!
Why would you do that?
I was trying to lighten the mood.
You think a story about you getting horribly raped by your uncle is going to lighten the mood?
I'm just saying. It could be worse. You could be locked in a freezer with me imaginary rapist uncle. Suddenly, things don't seem quite so bad.
[Shouts] Help! Help!
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