Max quotes from Mighty Max

I just wanted something special for the museum...I never thought it could lead to the end of civilization as we know it!

Max

Hey, come on, it's okay, Mom...it could happen to anyone!

Virgil

Wait, there may be security devices...aha, just as I thought! Now first, I will have to disable the trip wire surrounding the lid. Then I'll use a mirror to deflect the beam from the infrared motion detector. And finally, I'll exchange it with an object of equal weight so as to circumvent the pressure alarm... [chuckles]

Max

[grabs a wooden plank] I got a better idea.

Virgil

Take care, Mighty One. I have doubts about our host's mental stability.

Max

Not me, I know he's crazy.

Max

You...English...how?!

Trash. You throw it away, we pick it up. Tastes good, too. You're not going to hurt us, are you?

Max

Is that any way to speak to the guy who just last week, I believe it was, saved the world from certain doom at the hands of Skullmaster?

I'm sorry...I thought I was speaking to the guy who just last week spent two hours in the principal's office for mooning the teachers' lounge!

Virgil

I'm sorry Mighty One, we must flee until you're old enough to fulfill your destiny!

Max

Old enough?! Hey, I'm old enough right now, man!

Virgil

To go down to Skull Mountain?

Max

Look, I already told you I am not going back down there! Besides, how do you know that's my destiny?

Virgil

Because I know almost everything.

Max

Oh yeah? Okay...who was the king of England in 1298?

Virgil

Edward the Second.

Max

Well, how many people are living right now in...Calcutta?

Virgil

Sixty seven million, nine hundred and eighty two thousand, seven hundred and thirty two...thirty three, sorry.

Max

Okay, well, uh... [He puts a hand behind his back.] How many fingers am I holding up behind my back?

Virgil

Three.

Max

Whoa...

Max

Virg, remind me to talk to you about the portals we've been using lately.

Virgil

Once again you must save the world, Mighty One.

Max

Yeah, yeah, yeah, so what's the emergency this time, huh? Crazed ghouls? Rabid llamas? Three-toed sloths bent on world domination?

Virgil

The cold weather.

Max

Virg, hello... we're in the Aleutians! What did you expect, sand dunes and camels?

Max

Virgil, this wasn't in the job description!

Virgil

You weren't hired, Mighty One...you were chosen!

Soon, they will all know my name! Yes! And my name is--

Max

Mud, if ya ask me!

MUD! Wait, no! No, that is not my name!

Virgil

Lao-shu Chenwan, the Emperor of Rats, has returned to lead his people.

Max

And is that good or bad?

Norman

It's good...if you're a rat.

What is more intelligent than a rat? Why else would you humans use us for your experiments?

Max

He's got a point, there.

My dinosaur can beat your dinosaur!

Max

Oh, now we're really mature.

Virgil

Using the Lemurian probability theorem, I've pinpointed his next destination! We have just minutes to get there!

Max

Yeah, but what do we do when we get there?

Virgil

That, Mighty One, is up to you.

Max

Then...using the Max probability theorem...I'd say we're in big trouble!

Max

[gulps] Fish pizza?

Yep! With sardines, clams, oysters and anchovy toppings!

Max

Spewtime! What would make anyone eat a fish pizza?

It's all paid for! Even my tip!

Max

[grabbing the pizza] Hey you got any soda to go with that?

Max

You couldn't have spelled out the message in pepperoni?

Virgil

I wanted to make sure you read it before you ate it, Mighty One.

Max

Well, you think of everything, don't you Virg?

Virgil

I do my best.

Max

You can't fly the plane.

Why? Because I'm a girl?

Max

Because you don't know how.

Yes I do. My mother taught me.