Virgil quotes from Mighty Max

Virgil

The usually Freako has an unbelievably large inferiority complex. Born looking like a clown he ran away to the only place he felt at home...the circus! And here he's been planning his revenge ever since.

Virgil

Every person has a gift, and in that gift lies their destiny. You, Mighty Max, are the Chosen One.

Max

Chosen One? What did I win? Cash? Prizes? Video games? Where's Ed McMahon?

Virgil

Max, my boy...you are Earth's only hope!

Max

You know, I knew you were going to say that. Come on man. What about the air force, or the U.N.? Arnold Schwarzenegger? I mean we don't want to hog all the glory for ourselves.

Virgil

I'm afraid the aliens' ships are invisible to radar and your military is no match for their superior firepower.

Max

Oh, and I am? How about Norman? I really have a good feeling about him.

Norman

I eat aliens for breakfast!

Max

Ha, you see? They're even on his diet.

Max

Hey Virg, how come you can't fly?

Virgil

I learned to read instead.

Max

Virg, why do I get the feeling that waking the Doom Dragon is a bad thing?

Virgil

When the Doom Dragon arises, he will rupture Odin's rift, cracking the world asunder!

Max

Uh-huh...sort of, "have you riven a fjord lately?"

Virgil

What on earth are gorillas doing, driving chariots?

Max

Trying to kill us, Virg!

I don't know, Virgil. Do you think Max is okay?

Virgil

Oh, don't worry. I'm sure he'll be all right. I mean, it's only a bloodthirsty eight-hundred-pound gorilla wanting to tear him limb from limb. He's faced much worse!

Gee, thanks.

Virgil

Wait, there may be security devices...aha, just as I thought! Now first, I will have to disable the trip wire surrounding the lid. Then I'll use a mirror to deflect the beam from the infrared motion detector. And finally, I'll exchange it with an object of equal weight so as to circumvent the pressure alarm... [chuckles]

Max

[grabs a wooden plank] I got a better idea.

Virgil

Take care, Mighty One. I have doubts about our host's mental stability.

Max

Not me, I know he's crazy.

Virgil

I'm sorry Mighty One, we must flee until you're old enough to fulfill your destiny!

Max

Old enough?! Hey, I'm old enough right now, man!

Virgil

To go down to Skull Mountain?

Max

Look, I already told you I am not going back down there! Besides, how do you know that's my destiny?

Virgil

Because I know almost everything.

Max

Oh yeah? Okay...who was the king of England in 1298?

Virgil

Edward the Second.

Max

Well, how many people are living right now in...Calcutta?

Virgil

Sixty seven million, nine hundred and eighty two thousand, seven hundred and thirty two...thirty three, sorry.

Max

Okay, well, uh... [He puts a hand behind his back.] How many fingers am I holding up behind my back?

Virgil

Three.

Max

Whoa...

Max

Virg, remind me to talk to you about the portals we've been using lately.

Virgil

Once again you must save the world, Mighty One.

Max

Yeah, yeah, yeah, so what's the emergency this time, huh? Crazed ghouls? Rabid llamas? Three-toed sloths bent on world domination?

Virgil

The cold weather.

Max

Virg, hello... we're in the Aleutians! What did you expect, sand dunes and camels?

Max

Virgil, this wasn't in the job description!

Virgil

You weren't hired, Mighty One...you were chosen!

Virgil

Lao-shu Chenwan, the Emperor of Rats, has returned to lead his people.

Max

And is that good or bad?

Norman

It's good...if you're a rat.

What is more intelligent than a rat? Why else would you humans use us for your experiments?

Max

He's got a point, there.

Virgil

Using the Lemurian probability theorem, I've pinpointed his next destination! We have just minutes to get there!

Max

Yeah, but what do we do when we get there?

Virgil

That, Mighty One, is up to you.

Max

Then...using the Max probability theorem...I'd say we're in big trouble!

Max

You couldn't have spelled out the message in pepperoni?

Virgil

I wanted to make sure you read it before you ate it, Mighty One.

Max

Well, you think of everything, don't you Virg?

Virgil

I do my best.