Crockett quotes from Miami Vice

Crockett

So you're at this party with this dude..

Trudy

His name's David.

Crockett

Oh, yeah, that's right, David. And there's a lot of weed and blow there. Hell, you can't go to a party in Miami without tripping over it.

Trudy

Miami Vice. You're under arrest. Turn around and put your hands on the bar.

Baby, you're a cop?

Crockett

April fool.

I mean, for the first time since we landed back in the world, I feel like a man. I got a wife, a kid, a business. I can hold my head up in the street.

Crockett

Is that what being a man is? Standing by and letting that girl get blown away, so that you can live high on the hill? What's happened to you, man? Where's your sense of right and wrong?

Are you in charge? Cause I can't get a straight answer from this one. Is Dorothy being accused of murder? If you know where she is, I want her and my son back. And if you don't, tell me! Cause I'll get a private detective to find her, who'll do a lot better job than the Dick Tracy club you got here.

Crockett

Why? You having trouble finding somebody new to smack around? (Pushes him) I'll give you a reason to hit someone, pal! Or maybe it doesn't turn you on when somebody hits back?

Crockett

She said she wanted to help us.

Tubbs

She would have said anything, man, to feed that monkey. Anything.

Crockett

Man, you're taking this whole thing way too light. This isn't like sneaking into the drive-in. This is a sacred religious ceremony for these people, and if they make you for an outsider, you don't know what they're gonna do.

Tubbs

What are they gonna do, cast a spell on me?

Crockett

I hate the waiting, feel like a character in a Becket play.

Tubbs

Since when do you know Becket?

Charlie Becket, works down at the shoeshine, writes plays on the side.

Tubbs

She’s too conservative for you.

Crockett

I get these occasional urges for stability in my life.

Tubbs

You're losing it, Sonny man. Remember what you told me about edges and dead cops?

Crockett

I say a lot of things, I talk too much.

Crockett

Okay Tommy, what's the story this time?

Sonny boy, are you familiar with the expression.. "A carburetor is like a good woman"?

Crockett

Tommy.

A carburetor is like a good woman, because if you don't make constant delicate adjustments, she'll choke you to death. I adjusted your carbs and I did some other stuff, and the ticket's on the front seat.

Crockett

Wait a minute. What other stuff?

Sonny, when did I ever, ever, ever overcharge you?

Crockett

How the hell should I know? You're the only one that works on this car!

I'm the best, Sonny, it's a fact.

Crockett

Tommy? You rang? $600?

You want to know something, Crockett? Not if it's gonna cost me another $600. I'm doing pretty much the same work on this car here, but this car belongs to a rich lawyer. I'm charging him more. Fair, but more. And if you tell him, I'll kill you.

Crockett

Do you think that makes us even?

No, not at all. It was just the best I had to offer.

Crockett

Aw, the hell with it. You want to be dead? [makes gun with his hand] Bang, you're dead.

Crockett

Well you could have damn well been a little more emphatic!

Danielle Hier

And you could have listened a little bit better!

Crockett

I suggest we take a rain check.

Danielle Hier

It isn't raining.

Crockett

Damn, these birds are noisy. At least, they're not in a cage, sort of a natural habitat.

Tubbs

Kind of like an alligator in a sailboat.

Tubbs

What are you doing?

Crockett

Re-prioritizing. Lunch. On me.

Tubbs

On you?

Crockett

Yep. Can't let a guy buy his own last meal. Anything you want, anything. Sky's the limit.

Tubbs

Veggie burger! Veggie burger!

Crockett

Anything but that.