Magnum, P.I. quotes

175 total quotes



Magnum: Howdy, partner. You just ride into town?
Elmo Ziller: Somebody told me you was a pretty good detective.
Magnum: Terrific. I ain't had a rustlin' case all year.

Magnum: I was a Naval intelligent.
Virginia Fowler: Oh. You don't seem like the type. The Navy, I mean, not the intelligence.
Magnum: I know what you mean.
Virginia Fowler: You were in the Navy.
Magnum: Yes, I was in the Navy. Uhh... career man, Navy all the way.
Virginia Fowler: What happened?
Magnum: I started asking myself a lot of questions.
Virginia Fowler: And?
Magnum: I'm still asking.

Magnum: This was one of those days I wish I'd listened to my mother and studied to be an orthodontist. Looking into someone's mouth has gotta be better than staring death in the face.

Margo: [on seeing T.C.'s helicopter fly past the Estate] Who's that?
Magnum: Oh, that is a buddy of mine, and he sometimes flies tourists over the Estate to see what famous person might be sun-bathing naked on the beach.
Margo: Well I'm not famous or naked.
Magnum: You will be... [pauses] famous.

Mert: Higgins, the dogs are supposed to attack the Sushi Brothers, not Magnum.
Higgins: Sorry, force of habit. It won't happen again.

Rick: [to Magnum] This is a private club. Unless you've got membership money pal, I suggest you leave, and leave now.

Rick: Alright, I'll do the favor; But let's get one thing straight � I'm not gonna put on ANY dumb disguise, I'm not playing garbage men, delivery men, sewer men, any other kind of men, is that... that's final now, right?
Magnum: Of course.
[Cut to next scene, where Rick is dressed as a bakery delivery man]

Rick: I just put you on a case, Sherlock.
Magnum: You can't do that. I'm already on a case.
Rick: Yeah, well now you're on two. And boy, are you gonna thank me.
Magnum: Boy, am I gonna kill you.

Rick: You better be right, sweetheart.
Magnum: Come on, when have I ever been wrong?
Rick: I can't count that high.

T.C.: [to Magnum] I knew this investigative business was easy, else you wouldn't be in it.
Season 3

T.C.: Um, T.M., did you come up with this plan all by your lonesome?
Magnum: Yeah. What's the matter?
T.C.: I don't know. Well, I don't know yet. I just keep remembering the plan you had to get all the POW's out of Cambodia.
Magnum: T.C., there is no comparison between that plan and this one.
T.C.: I hope not. I don't need any more scars.

T.C.: You expect me to hop over all 13 of these islands?
Magnum: That's the name of your service, isn't it? Island Hoppers.
T.C.: Yeah, I'm thinking about changing it to Magnum's Taxi Service!