A character in Magnum, P.I.
Played by Tom Selleck
Magnum, P.I. · 180 quotes
Most-quoted character in Magnum, P.I.: in 141 of its 180 quotes
Most scenes with: Jonathan Higgins (36), T.C (13), Rick (13)
MagnumOne of the pleasanter aftereffects of nearly meeting your maker is a renewed sense of the value of all life; of every creature's right to realize its full potential. In fact, I was quite pleased recently when I managed to avoid stepping on an ordinary garden snail. Pleased that it could crawl on to fulfill its full garden snail potential.
Magnum[narrating] I've always loved baseball. I think it has more of the American character than any other sport. It's competitive without being cutthroat. It's basically simple, but capable of incredible complexity. Baseball is played in parks. It has no clock except for the eternal rhythm of each individual game. This gives it thrilling bursts of action and moments of leisurely tranquility. All-in-all, I'm convinced that baseball represents one of man's noblest endeavors.
Magnum[narrating] I know what you're thinking, and you're right. There are few things more dangerous than getting in the middle of a family quarrel, especially a family quarrel over a large fortune. Ask any cop and he'll tell you; more policeman are injured answering family disturbance calls than any other kind. It's like that old love song says, "you always hurt the one you love", and anyone else who happens to be in the line of fire. Well, I wasn't planning to make the 10 o'clock news the hard way.
Magnum[narrating] I guess the earliest memory I have of my grandfather Sullivan is the kind of heart-to-heart talk we had while walking by the Rappahannock River when I was six years old. We used to hunt for wild asparagus down by the river to take home to my mom to cook for dinner. Anyway, on this particular walk my grandfather confided in me that probably the only thing you can count on in life is change... that no matter how much you wanted things to stay the same they never did, and that change itself wasn't bad. It's just that, the transitions were sometimes tricky. Well, I'm not sure what he was talking about at the time. I was more interested in the asparagus than transition, but I never forgot it. And I guess if there is one thing that I could in some way pass on, it would be my grandfather's advice--don't be afraid of "transitions", they make you strong.
[Last lines]
Magnum[at the end of the episode, to his TV audience] Good night. [pushes a button on the remote and the screen goes black]
[Alice asks Thomas about his days serving in the Navy]
Why did you quit, Tom?
MagnumIt was nothing earth-shattering. One day I woke up age 33, and realized I'd never been 23.
You have to get into the safe first, Magnum.
Magnum[wiggles eyebrows] I know.
MagnumI'm not an intruder, I'm a guest!
Guests eventually leave.
Whoa! What's with this Abbott and Costello routine, 'You owe me 50, I'll loan you 10'? Forget it!
MagnumOh, okay! Thanks, I owe you one! [speeds off in the Ferrari]
[Higgins is being nice to Magnum because he wants him to play bridge with him]
Put Magnum's bill on my tab. [bartender looks very surprised, hands up in the air in defense]
I always do.
[Higgins is trying not to get angry at Magnum]
Tomorrow at three?
MagnumI'll try.
[A kid drops off Higgins' resignation and the car]
MagnumDid he tip you?
$20.
That's not Higgins, Thomas.
As you may have noticed, I've fired the groundskeeper. Until I can find a successor, I'd like you to assume some of the responsibilities.
MagnumBut Higgins, I don't know the first thing about gardening!
I assure you, the kind of work I had in mind requires no intelligence what so ever.
MagnumLike what?
Like distributing 1500 lbs. of recycled vegetation that was delivered this morning.
MagnumRecycled vegetation!? What do you mean 'recycled vegetation'? Recycled how?
[smiles] Through a cow.
You better be right, sweetheart.
MagnumCome on, when have I ever been wrong?
I can't count that high.
Um, T.M., did you come up with this plan all by your lonesome?
MagnumYeah. What's the matter?
I don't know. Well, I don't know yet. I just keep remembering the plan you had to get all the POW's out of Cambodia.
MagnumT.C., there is no comparison between that plan and this one.
I hope not. I don't need any more scars.
[To Rick] A formal complaint has been lodged with you in regarding both unbecoming behavior and flagrant violations of the club's dress code.
MagnumOh come on Higgins, I'm clean. I'm on the beach.
It's interesting how the guilty party defends himself, even before he's been accused.
Oh, Thomas is usually accused before there's a complaint...That came out wrong, didn't it?
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