TV QuotesDatabase
1 SEASON

TV show quotes

Mad quotes

342 quotes · page 5 of 23

S1 E15Unfinished Business

AAlvin

[seeing a snake with bumps inside] Simon? Theodore?

SCSleepy Cloud Voiceover Guy

Voiceover: Plus, the Sleepy Cloud is environmentally friendly, made from air and air-like materials. So get rid of those puffy eyes once and for all with the... hey, what are you doing here?

GNGrouchy Neighbor

I'll show you to listen; Sleepy Cloud! [beats up the announcer]

JLJoe Lamb

We have to stop the 80's from taking over the town!

ADAlice Dainard

Why? Weren't the 80's fun?

JLJoe Lamb

Yes, but they also gave us Urkel (shows a picture of Steve Urkel) and ALF. (shows a picture of ALF)

(Cast of Super 8 run around screaming. In the city people are being chased by Pac-Man)

PMPac-Man

Wakka wakka wakka wakka wakka wakka!

(He-Man slicing cars, Care Bears holding torches while riding My Little Ponies)

PPeople

(Screaming)

(People's cars are starting to turn into GoBots)

OMOld Man

Oh, my gosh! It's a Transformer!

RGRed Gobot

Actually, I'm a Gobot.

OMOld Man

A What-Bot?

RGRed Gobot

A Gobot! Just like Transformers, only smaller, not as popular, and, uh... (cries) I wanna be a Transformer!

PMr. Peanut

[after tap dancing] Wait, wait! I can do magic too! [a man eats him]

IMIron Man

[through his cell phone] Yeah, Spider-Man? You're in. [segment ends]

SLord Shen

Die, Po, and let kung fu die with you! Ah ha ha ha ha!

(Scene goes to Po running away Angry Birds style from Lord Shen who is firing Angry Birds at him)

BSBlue Speedy Bird

Ooh!

GBGrenade Bird

Whee! (explodes)

P5Pink 5-Splitter Bird

He he he he!

OSOrange Square Angry Bird

Ha ha ha ha!

(Orange Square Angry Bird hits TNT that collapses the temple causing 2,000 points)

(Scene goes to Lord Shen and a Green Circle Angry Bird in the slingshot)

GBGrenade Bird

You know that was your own temple you destroyed, right?

SLord Shen

I know, but firing these things is so addictive.

(Lord Shen lets go of the slingshot sending Grenade Bird in the air)

GBGrenade Bird

Whee!

(Scene goes to Po running away while Angry Birds try to explode on him)

PPo

Black and white, black and white, gotta find someone black and white!

(Scene goes to Pepé Le Pew hugging a shaking Penelope Pussycat in the city)

PLPepé Le Pew

My little mon cherrie (Zooms in on them), kiss me. Mmm (Po grabs him and aims him in the direction of a Green Circle Angry Bird), mmm, mmm.

(Pepe gets blown up by the Angry Birds)

PLPepé Le Pew

What a woman. (turns to dust)

PPo

Okay, not him. (scene switches to Jim Carrey and his pet penguins)

PMr. Popper

And shuffle ball, step; shuffle ball, lounge.

PPo

Hi, I'm gonna need all these penguins.

PMr. Popper

But these penguins are teaching me how to be a better father.

PPo

[quick silence] Did you hear what he just said?

PPo

Occasion, prepare to meet your- [explosion] Guess it’s not the penguin. Prepare to meet- [explosion] or Spider-Man. [explosion] or this cookie. [explosion] That sign, [explosion] this photo, [explosion] these dice, [explosion] these Pokémon.

HDHot Dog Stand Guy

That'll be nine hundred billion dollars.

CCostumer

Uh, better make that just relish.

This is one splash for Fish, one giant splash [plants a flag] for fish kind! [a bear grabs the fish and eats it up]

The Curious Case of Benjamin Batman. Witness the magic that is the 20 minutes in the middle of this movie where Batman can actually do stuff!

SJSheldon J. Plankton

I am king of this!

(Plankton plops down and scene goes to an exhausted Jack Sparrow)

JSJack Sparrow

Oh, hi, diddly dee, (Jack Sparrow lays down on the bench) a pillow and slippers for me.

(Young Blackbeard and Young Angelica walk up to Jack Sparrow)

YAYoung Angelica

Can we go to the movies?

(Scene goes to Jack Sparrow)

JSJack Sparrow

(Groans) I just want to- is rest a thing? Can I say "rest" (Scene backs out) and just have it mean what I think it means?

So Pooh decided to get some help from his very good friend Rabbit. (The screen goes to a page with Pooh going to Rabbit's house.)

No! I won't be doing that! (Punches Rabbit back in his house)

(groans)

But it's in the book!

Well, I called for some help outside the book.

[Vin Diesel and Pooh's friend start their engines]

EEeyore

[car breaks down] Pathetic.

A4All 4

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

And just as I was afraid, they all lift off the page and landed into other books.

Pooh into Where the Wild Things Are, Piglet and Tigger into The Very Hungry Caterpillar and Eeyore into--

EEeyore

Everybody Poops.

CCarol

What are you doing here?

Um, we were just trying to get some honey.

CCarol

Oh, why didn't you say so? We have some here.

Oh.....

CCaterpillar

I was gonna eat this, but there's plenty for everyone.

BBee

In this book too, 'cause as you know, even bees--

(The bee poops on Eeyore.)

EEeyore

Poop....

And what you may ask happened to Dom? well he landed into a novelization of the movie, Cars.

LMLightning McQueen

I hear you've got a thing for chains and cars.

MMater

Ha, now you're talkin' my language.

DDom

No! This is why I hate books! [flies off the ramp, explodes and dies]

MMailbox

[shoving envelopes down guy's throat] How do you like it, huh? Not so fun, pal? Is it? Is it?

SSkeleton

Huh? What the? Where'd all my skin go? [both students scream and run out of the classroom, teacher faints; jumps up and down; stops panicking]

The 9-Voltron Battery now only the power of 9...

OPOptimus Prime

[rips up the screen] Who cares? I'm so juiced right now!

These quotes come from Wikiquote's Mad pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.