Loki quotes from Loki

Loki

I'm gonna burn this place to the ground.

Mobius

I'm gonna show you where my desk is, you can start there.

Loki

Are you taking me somewhere to kill me?

Mobius

No. That's where you just were. I'm taking you some place to talk.

Loki

I don't like to talk.

Mobius

But you do like to lie, which you just did. Because we both know you love to talk. Talkie-talkie.

Loki

How long have you been here?

Mobius

I don't know. It's hard to say, you know? Time passes differently here in the TVA.

Loki

What does that mean?

You'll catch on.

Loki

What's your name?

Casey.

Loki

Give me the Tesseract, or I'll gut you like a fish, Casey.

What's a fish?

Loki

How do you not know what a fish is?

I've lived my entire life behind a desk.

Loki

Well, what difference does it make?

I wanna know exactly what I'm being threatened with before I comply.

Loki

Death, Casey. Violent, painful death.

Loki

I don't enjoy hurting people. I...I don't enjoy it. I do it because I have to, because I've had to.

Mobius

Okay, explain that to me.

Loki

Because it's part of the illusion. It's the cruel, elaborate trick conjured by the weak to inspire fear.

Mobius

A desperate play for control. You do know yourself.

Loki

A villain.

Mobius

That's not how I see it.

Loki

By the way, at your desk, that magazine...

Mobius

Yeah, the one on jet skis?

Loki

Yes. Why do you have that?

Loki

[chuckles] Suppose they are.

Mobius

Yeah, you know some things, actually most things in history are kind of dumb and everything gets ruined eventually but in the early 1990s for a brief shining moment there was a beautiful union between form and function which we call a jet ski and a reasonable man can't differ.

Loki

Have you ever been on one?

Mobius

No. No, I think a TVA agent showing up on a jet ski on the Sacred Timeline, that would create a branch for sure.

Loki

It would be fun, though.

Mobius

Yeah, it'd be really fun.

Mobius

Who created you, Loki?

Loki

A frost giant of Bodenheim.

Mobius

And who raised you?

Loki

Odin of Asgard.

Mobius

Odin, god of the heavens, Asgard, mystical realm beyond the stars, frost giants, just listen to yourself.

Loki

Those are different things.

Mobius

No no no, that's exactly the same thing because if you think too hard about where any of us came from, who we truly are, it sounds pretty ridiculous. Existence is chaos.

Mobius

Kablooie.

Loki

What's that?

Mobius

Candy. Do you have candy on Asgard?

Loki

Yeah. Grapes, nuts.

Mobius

No wonder you're so bitter.

Loki

Um, uh, look, I can't go backwards on a train.

Sylvie

Well, I never sit with my back to a door.

Loki

What? There are doors on both sides.

Sylvie

Oh, just sit down.

Loki

A pity the old woman chose to die, don't you think?

Sylvie

She was in love.

Loki

She hated him.

Sylvie

Maybe love is hate.

Loki

Should probably remember that. [materializes a quill pen and paper] What was that? [writing] "Love is... Love is hate."

Sylvie

Oh, piss off!

Loki

So, on the subject of love, is there a lucky beau waiting for you at the end of this crusade?

Sylvie

[sarcastically] Yeah, there is, actually. I managed to maintain quite a serious long-distance relationship with a postman whilst running across time from one apocalypse to another.

Loki

And with charm like that, who could resist you?

Sylvie

Well, people are quite willing in the face of certain doom.

Loki

I'm sure they are.

Sylvie

It was only ever just to keep me going. How about you? You're a prince. Must've been would-be-princesses or perhaps, another prince.

Loki

A bit of both. I suspect the same as you. But, nothing ever...

Sylvie

...real.

Loki

Love is a dagger. [materializes a dagger] It's a weapon to be wielded far away or up close. You can see yourself in it. It's beautiful. [turns the dagger towards himself] Until it makes you bleed. But ultimately, when you reach for it,...

Sylvie

It isn't real.

Loki

Yeah.

Sylvie

Love is an imaginary dagger.

Loki

Doesn't make sense, does it?

Sylvie

No. Terrible metaphor.

Loki

Damn. I thought I had something there.

Sylvie

You're not a serious man.

Loki

You're right. I'm a god.

Sylvie

You're a clown. You got drunk on the train.

Loki

I'm hedonistic. That's what I do.

Sylvie

I'm hedonistic. A lot more than you, I assure you. But never at the expense of the mission.

Loki

Oh, the mission? The mission? What, your glorious purpose? Give me a break. You can't beat them.

Sylvie

Do you think that what makes a Loki a Loki is the fact that we're destined to lose?

Loki

No. We may lose. Sometimes painfully. But we don't die. We survive.

Mobius

Well?

Loki

Well, what?

Mobius

I know you got some quip you're dyin'to say.

Loki

I don't have a quip. I've got nothing to say to you.

Mobius

Come on.

Loki

By the way, I should have an equal amount of security. This is insulting!

Mobius

You just can't help yourself.

Loki

You betrayed me!

Mobius

You betrayed me!

Loki

Grow up!

Mobius

You grow up! You know, it occurred to me that you're not really the God of Mischief.

Loki

Oh, here it comes. The folksy, dopey insult from the folksy dope. What am I? The God of Self-Sabotage, yeah? The God of Back-Stabbing?

Mobius

Just kind of an asshole and a bad friend. Yeah, chew on that for a little bit.

Loki

I'm not lying.

Mobius

Now, I'm supposed to believe your girlfriend.

Loki

She's not my girlfriend.

Mobius

Whatever you want call her. What, your female self that you have some demented crush on…

Loki

You're all Variants! Everyone who works at the TVA. The Time-Keepers didn't create you. They kidnapped you from the timeline, and erased your memories. Memories she can access through enchantment. So before this, you had a past, maybe you had a family, a life.

Mobius

Nice try. That was good. You two, what a pair! Gosh! Unbelievable. Wherever you go, it's just death, destruction, the literal ends of worlds. Well, I'm gonna have to close this case now, 'cause I don't need you anymore. Yeah, or as you might say, our interests are no longer aligned.

Loki

You know, of all the liars in this place, and there are a great many, you're the biggest.

Mobius

Why? 'Cause I lied about your girlfriend?

Loki

Oh, no. That I can respect. I mean, the lies you tell yourself.

Mobius

What are you doing?

Loki

Passing the time.

Mobius

Do you care about her?

Loki

Sylvie? I'm not sure if it's the right word. We covered this back in there.

Mobius

Shut up! Do you really think you deserve to be alone? Loki!

Loki

You told me to shut up.

Mobius

Do you believe you deserve to be alone?

Loki

I don't know.

Mobius

You better figure it out quick, because the Nexus Event the two of you caused, whatever that connection is, can bring this whole place down. So, we better understand...

Loki

We?

Mobius

Do you swear she didn't implant those memories in Hunter C-20?

Loki

Mobius, no. I believe her.

Mobius

So, I just have to trust the word of two Lokis?

Loki

How about the word of a friend?

Mobius

You were right, about the TVA. You were right from the beginning. And if you wanna save her, you need to trust me. Can we do that?

Loki

Yes.

Mobius

Okay. You could be whoever, whatever you wanna be, even someone good. I mean, just in case anyone ever told you different.