Detective Sergeant Ray Carling, you are hereby stripped of your rank and demoted to Detective Constable. From now on, your main responsibilities will be maintenance of CID stationery cupboard. You will account for every pen, pencil and paper clip in this office.
Oh, come on, guv...
You will only participate in other investigations at my discretion. Half your wages for the next twelve months, including any overtime, will be deducted by me and given directly to the Police Benevolent Fund. You are also barred from the Railway Arms until I decide otherwise. You so much as belch out of line and I'll have your scrotum on a barbed-wire plate.
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