[credits introduction to every episode apart from episode 1]
My name is Sam Tyler. I had an accident, and I woke up in 1973. Am I mad, in a coma, or back in time? Whatever's happened, it's like I've landed on a different planet. Now, maybe if I can work out the reason, I can get home.
[Sam Tyler asks Leonard, a witness, the registration number of the car that he saw]
Sorry, was that you saying the letter E and then you don't know the rest, or was that you saying "Ee, I dunno!"?
This place is like Guantanamo Bay.
Give over, it's nothing like Spain.
[To Phyllis Dobbs, custody sergeant, talking about a witness that he's just brought in]
He's a key witness. So could you treat him like a person, Phyllis? D'you remember "people"? You used to be one!
[Gene is looking at a poster for The Good, The Bad And The Ugly]
TC Test Card Girl
Do you not like me with my clown? I can see I make you frown. When on Earth will all this end? I'm your friend, your only friend.
Tits in a jumper, maybe a result.
[Sam & Gene are questioning a suspect]
You know, if you were Pinocchio you'd have just poked my eye out!
[Sam and Annie are standing on the steps outside, Gene Hunt approaches with Leonard, a witness who Annie has just agreed to watch overnight]
Annie's going to sit with him tonight.
Hey, Leonard! Fanny in the flat! Nice work!
Look, I was thinking, guv. I know having me here is difficult for you. What if I went back?
[Gene picks up the phone]
You can do that? You can just send me back to where I came from?
[on phone] Hello, is that the Wizard of Oz? [to Sam] The Wizard'll sort it out. It's because of the wonderful things he does.
CH − Previous episode · S1 E1 The Crash
CH + Next episode · S1 E3 The Stabbing
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Life on Mars pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License .