How about that, baby! You see me?
He was injured!
Well, somebody got to fight the injured. Shoot, that's my niche.
All S1
S1 E15Unfinished Business
GGrant
I'm not crazy about heights. Or enclosed spaces. [takes some pills]
What is that you just took?
GGrant
Xanax. For my nerves.
Actually, caffeine. With a dash of dextroamphetamine.
You gave him speed?
He beat up a priest.
I got to be honest with you. We’re gonna need a miracle to save this church.
NNate
So let's, uh, go steal ourselves a miracle.
NNate
So the Catholic church defines a miracle as the work of God, usually through the prayers and intercessions of a saint, for some specific purpose, frequently the conversion of the unbelieving.
How do you know all this stuff?
NNate
I went to school with Father Paul. To, uh...seminary school.
So you dropped out of priest school to become an insurance cop. Now you're a leader of a band of thieves. Nice.
You're…you're a Catholic who wants to fake a miracle. I'm pretty sure that puts us in mortal sin territory.
So wait, wait. Now you're religious too?
No, no, I'm not denominational. It's just, I never do anything my Nana says don't do.
As long as I don't have to do anything immoral.
NNate
No, absolutely not. No, I just need you to figure out how to…fake a miracle.
[Eliot laughs]
We all goin' to hell.
What are you, 10 feet from there? How can you miss that? You’re standing right here.
Everybody can't be Eliot.
Unbelievable.
Shut up. Shut up.
You never cheated on her, Nate.
NNate
I know. I know. Tempted.
No, no, you weren't.
NNate
I was.
Not really. You’ve always been the good guy. That’s, uh, that's what made it fun. Well, part of what made it fun between us back then.
NNate
Back then, yeah. And what about now?
I don't know. What about now? That’s what we have to figure out. By "we," um, I mean "you" of course.
NNate
Of course. Of course.
Just, um...don't take too long.
Whoa. That’s a lot of public.
I’m very good.
Yeah. A little too good.
What did we just do?
The weeping statue of St. Nick is on YouTube.
Good. This church will never shut down.
There’s just so many people here. I mean, what if they find out it's a...fake?
Hell fire, damnation, et cetera. You know what? I’m gonna step over here, so when the good lord throws down on all of y'all, I don't get hit by the lightning.
Wasn’t Zeus the one with the lightning?
What did you do?
NNate
Uh, what--what do you mean What, y-y-you don't believe in miracles?
The word "miracle" does not appear anywhere in the Old or New Testaments.
NNate
What about the wedding at Cana? Huh? What about Lazarus?
Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
NNate
I had nothing to do with this.
Nate? You’re lying to me, right to my face. In church! There’s a fake miracle in my church.
NNate
Shhh.
Oh, no, see? This is what happens when you mess with God. He raises up your enemies with his right hand, and he smites you with his left.
[When their con has gone too well]
NNate
We can use this. Just give me a second. I need to—
[A black van rolls in and a group of priests exit from it and head into the church]
NNate
Apostolic visitation…
Come again?
NNate
It's the Vatican.
[Parker, Eliot and Hardison turn and quickly walk away]
NNate
I hope you weren't gonna do what I know you were just about to do.
What, tell the truth? You bet I was. Nate, no more lies! The Vatican’s here! You and I both know what that means.
NNate
Yeah, break out the grappa.
Does my getting defrocked amuse you?
NNate
I-I am trying to save your damn church.
Save my church? You faked a miracle! My parishioners, my flock, my church, they-they believed in that miracle. And now you are ripping out that faith and replacing it with a lie. Maybe, maybe I’m not here to save this church, Nate. Maybe I need to lose this church to save you. Go and sin no more.
AGAndrew Grant
When people say "controversy", I hear "attention".
LGLittle Girl
I saw what happened! An angel took it away!
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Leverage pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.