(Singing) I feel like stealin', feel like connin', feel like taking some stuff today!
All S1
S1 E15Unfinished Business
It's a gala. That's great. The place is gonna be swarming with guests.
Okay, that's fine for you two, but what about the three of us? How do we get in?
Uh, excuse you. Do you not know my name? It's nothing to get on that list. I've been to the Oscars every year since I was 15.
I've never been to a costume party.
Now that is just heartbreaking.
[Angrily, over the comm] Why'd you have to dress me up like Howdy Doody?!
Actually, Charlie Siringo was a real-life cowboy and a Pinkerton detective.
Why couldn't you have picked me something normal, like Hardison?
Excuse you? No way in the world I'd have picked Encyclopedia Brown as my....these ugly-ass penny loafers.
Hardy Boys. You're the Hardy Boys, and Parker's Nancy Drew.
Yeah, well, why did Nate get to pick his own gear?
Because he's just a bit more of a whiny baby than the rest of you.
NNate
Let's go steal a murder.
BBeck
Welcome...to this year's gala. Or, as I like to refer to it, "Humiliation 101." [Laughs]
Nate, we got a problem. This place isn't just off the grid, it's in a whole damn time warp.
Definitely 1850s. Before the Civil War.
NNate
It's old? That's the problem?
It's prehistoric. It's totally analog, all manual. There's a junction box on every damn floor. There's no computers, nothing to crack, nothing to hack. [Lights flicker off and on] And that is on my last nerve.
NNate
Hardison, what's the rule?
Don't bring up a problem unless you got a fix.
I take my gear, attach it to the wiring, see what draws the most power by sending out some pulses. Maybe we can find the main control room.
NNate
Yeah, or anything big, like a state-of-the-art safe filled with blueprints.
Either way puts us back in business.
NNate
Well, see? Problem, solution.
This place is friggin' ginormous. It's gonna take me a while.
NNate
Then I suggest you get on it.
(Muttering) He's always got to be telling somebody what to do. "Get to it." He doesn't even know what a pulse map is.
Wait, wait. What the hell's going on down there? Nate killed somebody?
No, Nate didn't kill somebody. You didn't, did you?
NNate
Of course not.
You'd tell us, though. Wouldn't you?
NNate
Yes, Parker, I would tell you if I murdered the mark.
The point is, if we don't solve this murder, you're cooked. You get that?
NNate
Yeah. I get that.
Okay. Forget the job. Forget the blueprints. If you didn't kill this guy --
NNate
"If?"
If you didn't kill this guy, then you're the only witness. You better solve this murder, Nate.
NNate
Or?
Or you're gonna take the fall.
This is a bad idea. The way I get information out of guys is usually loud and messy.
NNate
Tonight you're a grifter. Adapt.
Yeah, when this is over, me and you are gonna have a little talk.
NNate
Try not to assault this one, Eliot.
Messy and loud, Nate. I told you. Adapt.
All right, it's your bar. Think. It's what you do.
NNate
Yeah, thanks, yeah.
But while you're thinking, think about this. Are you climbing into that bottle because of what you think we see when we look at you, or because of what you see in the mirror?
Stop! Stop with the Star Trek stuff again!
Wars! Damn it, it's Star Wars. And-and that C.G.I. Yoda they used in the prequels is an insult to the puppet they—Y-you know what, man? It's not even worth discussing.
You're the only one discussing it.
I kind of like C.G.I. Yoda.
Rockwell's brilliant, he's ruthless. Stone-cold solid. It's a shame we got to take the man down. I'd almost consider making him a part of the team.?
NNate
Yeah, uh, Rockwell has his boot on my friend's throat, Hardison.?
I said, "almost."
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