Leverage · Season 1
Eliot, give me everything you can on a Lt. Abbot. Just, just do what I taught you.
Now the http thing comes before the www, right?
Eliot!
And which one's the forward slash?
Come on.
It ain't the time, Eliot. It ain't—it ain't the time.
You see, it's not that much fun when you're hanging out there in the wind and there's a dude behind a laptop cracking jokes, is there?
I like it when we switch jobs. It's exciting.
[As she's being arrested and carried away]
I'M MONICA FRICKIN' HUNTER!!!!
Loch Ness monster?
Loch Ness submarine.
NO!
Yeah, those waters are cold and deep. It's the perfect place to test.
Area 51.
True.
False. [Looks at Eliot] False.
It's true.
No, she said Area 51.
I'm sorry. False. Area 52.
Been there.
I'm a grifter, for better or worse.
[over comm] Hardison, we got a problem.
What kind of problem?
They're MRI-ing my pizza and their stance says ex-CIA.
You can tell somebody worked for the CIA just from how they stand?
It's a very distinctive stance!
Remember when I said you had pretty hair? I was lying.
Yeah? Well, so was I when I said you didn't…wait, dammit.
So 'pizza delivery guy' was your big plan.
You know what, man, it was recon, okay? Information gathering has historically been a very safe and peaceful business. And it was a food company. It wasn't like it was making weapons.
Listen, I worked insurance for companies like this. Anyone who gets their hands on the company’s food patents could cost them billions. And by the way, they guard that stuff better than defense contractors.
[During the pre-con briefing]
This is the vice president of the frozen foods division, Erik Casten. Erik with a K, Casten with a C.
And how is that relevant?
Oh. Eric with a C? Nice and friendly. Erik with a K? Evil.
I didn't know that.
Everybody knows that.
That's our way in. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. That's it. That's it. The state of the company meeting, here we go.
What is that? I don't know what that is.
Me neither.
It's like State of the Union?
What is that?
Oh, right, right. You guys never had real jobs.
[After Eliot tells the team that he was once claustrophobic]
Really? How'd you get over it?
I locked myself in a woodshed behind my house for a couple of nights. After that, I was fine.
That is so funny. I was scared of the dark and did exactly the same thing.
[Flashback: A young Parker pulls the trunk of a chest closed over herself as other kids are burying her under dirt]
That's not the same thing. What's wrong with you?
[Hardison shows off his hacking skills using a cell phone]
You picked his pockets without stealing anything. Cool.
It's what I do. A man, a phone, no limits.
A man, a phone, no action. Come on, man, you left that out there like a hanging curveball!
How long is this gonna take?
As long as it has to take. You know, I was just pulled up to the ceiling of an elevator by my pants, so do not take that tone with me!
[last lines: after the job, Eliot and Sophie talk about Nate]
He's fine. We practically had to beg him to come back, all right? He's not drinking, he's at the top of his game. I gotta be honest with you, I can't even believe we pulled this one off.
Well, that's the problem. He keeps winning. Every time he wins, he believes a little bit more that he can control…life.
It's what gets him through the day.
What happens when he loses? Last time he lost, it broke him. He breaks again, I don't think even we could pick up the pieces.
[The team is trying to deal with a bomb sent to Sophie]
Is that C4?
Ohh, Parker! Please don't poke at the motion-sensitive bomb.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Leverage pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
