Law & Order quotes

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All Seasons  Season 1  
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Mobster: [after finding a body in his freezer] I even called around. 'Hey, did anybody whack dis guy what's in my freezer?'

Ms. Murdoch: How come every freak in the country lives in New York? Why don't some of you people move to Nebraska?
Sal Violet: I'm from Nebraska, sweetie. How do you think I got this way?

Paul Robinette: Never seen you like this before.
Ben Stone: I have never done anything this potentially stupid before.

Phil Ceretta: I wish we had a gun...
Mike Logan: I wish I had a girfriend named "Lola".

Robinette: Eye for an eye's worked for thousands of years.

Robinette: We're not Gods. We're not even angels.

Schiff: No excuses, you screwed up!
Stone: I thought-
Schiff: -Brains didn't enter into it!

[a serial killer has avoided the death penalty]
Stone: I don't know, I think 25 to life is pretty good.
Robinette: I know two people that would call it a gift.
Stone: Maybe this would cheer them up. [hands him a newspaper]
Robinette: The obituaries?
Stone: Richard Speck murdered eight nurses and died in prison. He was 49. Cheney's 42.
Season 3

[Arthur Gold has lost the case to Stone.]
Arthur Gold: You're not that smart- you never were. [grins] Call me, we'll do lunch. [He drives off.]
Robinette: You'd really eat lunch with him?
Stone: Oh, maybe. If he orders crow.

[Logan and Cerreta interrogate a hungover suspect.]
Logan: Where'd you go after that?
Chuey: No se.
Logan: No se? Or won't se?

[Logan and Cerreta jokingly discuss the alibi of a cab driver]
Logan: It's not bulletproof. I used to drive a cab- I'd some nights park outside of Susan Dennis' house, take care of business, and pay the fare myself.
Cerreta: [chuckles] So that would have been what, three or four minutes?
Logan:[grins] More like a trip to the airport.

[Logan is forced to go a grief counselor after Greevey is murdered]
Logan: I'm fine.
Dr. Elizabeth Olivet: Hey detective, you ever hear of the seven stages of grief?
Logan: No.
Dr. Elizabeth Olivet: The first one is "denial".

[Mike Logan and Phil Cerreta listen to 911 call recordings, describing what they hear.]
Cerreta: Grandmother fell down the stairs... Daddy's beating up mommy...
Logan: An accident... boiler room explosion...
Cerreta: Want to move to a small town in New Jersey? I know one with a nice police chief.

[Stone and Robinette discuss the hiring of Arthur Gold as Charles Martine's lawyer.]
Stone: If you're referring to the Jacobs case, that was six years ago, we were understaffed, and that laundry list of paperwork he made was abusive.
Robinette: It was good enough to suppress the murder weapon. Good enough to beat you.

[Teasdale is convincing Tina to lie about Frank Kemp's whereabouts]
Tina McManus: Sorry, I'm not very good at this.
Larry Teasdale: For 25 thou you'd better be.