Law & Order: Special Victims Unit quotes

Do you want to see the awesome stroller I picked out?

Benson

Fidelia, this is a baby we're talking about, it's not an accessory, it's not a bracelet or a pair of earrings or a slammin' pair of jeans. This is a living breathing human being you're bringing onto this earth.

You think I don't know that?

Benson

If you did you'd be petrified about your future. Do you know the odds of a teen mom finishing high school? Forget college, or any other dream you might have. Life as you know it is over. There's no going to the mall or hanging out with your friends. I mean, you might see them, but it'll probably be in line waiting for food stamps, or all of you going to the doctor trying to get an appointment at the free clinic.

Daddy, make her be quiet.

That's enough, detective.

Benson

Do you know the health risks to babies of teen moms? Dyslexia, retardation, um, increased risks of blindness, cerebral palsy.

Daddy!

Don't you blame my daughter. She's just a child.

Benson

That is my point exactly.

That girl done seen more nuts than a can of Planters.

Fin

[to Benson] Told you he wouldn't take a day off. You owe me 50 bucks.

Did you ask Linnie how she escaped?

Benson

No. Does it matter?

She asked for a meeting to discuss a plea bargain. I let her use the bathroom, she crawled out the window.

Benson

So you took the fall?

For years, whenever a rookie ADA pulled a stupid move, it was known as "doin' a Donnelly".

You've got a lot of nerve, detective.

Benson

Why? Because you can't tell me what to do?

Benson

So they're taking recruits with criminal records now. What's one more murdering bastard with a gun?

Benson

Would you have killed him?

Would you have shot me?

Benson

I can't answer that, and you deserve to know why. I was sexually assaulted 6 months ago.

Quit kicking yourself.

Benson

That's easy to say, and hard to do.

It takes practice. You'll get there.

Benson

You can’t tell me that there’s no connection between porn and rape.

Fin

Whoa, whoa, whoa, look. I've enjoyed adult entertainment a time or 2 and I have never forced a woman.

Benson

So after what we see all day, you go home and watch women being degraded to get off?

Fin

All women don’t feel the same way you do about porn. My girl digs it. Plus you've got women running multi-million dollar porn production companies.

Stabler

Women making porn? That’s like the whore on the corner working her way up to pimp. Doesn’t make it right.

Fin

Lighten up, choir boy. You don’t have to be a perv to like porn.

Benson

Oh, yeah? Then how come people don’t put V for Vagina next to Vertigo on their bookshelves?

Fin

'Cause they’re afraid of being judged by prudes like you.

Turn it off!

Are you sure? [looks at his crotch] Because that's not an objection you're raising.

Stabler

[suspect starts to run away from Stabler and Benson] Got a runner! [the suspect turns and runs away; Benson and Stabler follow] Vasco, stop!

Fin

[punches the suspect in the face; the suspect falls to the ground] We got a dropper!

Where's Kristen? I would like to see her.

Benson

And I would like to see you castrated with a rusty steak knife. Neither are going to happen, but we can both dream.

[notices the ADA] Ah. [laughs] The boss lady.

Save the grin, ass-wipe.

You ever see a nerd spaz out? It's ugly.

[about a jewelry heist] My whole life I never made a haul half this rich.

Stabler

I'm going to pretend I didn't hear that.

Stabler

I had him!

Fin

Yeah, like Custer had the Indians.