Capt. Vernon Rausch quotes from Kolchak: The Night Stalker

But a knight - in armor? Make me believe that, Carl, because if I find you're shooting me through the grease, it'll have a definite detrimental effect on how we interface with each other.

[to Kolchak] You are a man who has resorted to lies and chicanery to the point of being pathological. I believe that you suffer from autosuggestion; and, in an obsessive desire to win approval expressed through the need for a big story, you convince yourself that what you want to be true *is* true. In short... I believe your brain has turned to onion dip.

He was stabbed.

Carl Kolchak

Stabbed?

[Makes a stabbing motion toward his chest] You know.

Carl Kolchak

Yes, of course. But... stabbed by what?

Fair question. Something round and sharp. I'd say, a structural facsimile to an ice pick.

Carl Kolchak

Ice pick.

There is, however, one disconcerting wrinkle to that premise. This particular instrument would have to have a three-inch diameter.

Carl Kolchak

Then it isn't an ice pick!

All right, I'll buy that. I can buy a direct question, and I respect you for it.

Carl Kolchak

[totally confused] Thank you, Captain.