Kolchak: The Night Stalker quotes

Carl Kolchak

[Voiceover intro] If by chance you happened to be in the Windy City between May 25 and May 29 of this year, you would have had good reason to be terrified. During this time Chicago was stalked by a horror so frightening, so fascinating, that it ranks with the great unsolved mysteries of all time. It's been the fictional subject of films, plays, even an opera. Now, here, are the true facts.

Carl Kolchak

[Voiceover] Jane Plumm is fat. She talks a lot about water retention, big boned, but I have to believe the six or eight meals a day with snacks in-between to keep up her strength has a lot to do with it. And Plumm is a reporter however. We have mutual respect, mutual trust.

I don't trust you, Kolchak. You'd double-cross your own fairy godmother for a story.

Carl Kolchak

Why Jane, how can you say a thing like that? Now, you know me better than that.

You still here? You must like it.

Carl Kolchak

This is a wild goose chase if you try to shoot that guy.

We did it once. We can do it again.

Carl Kolchak

You did it once, and he smashed down a steel door. How'd he do that?

He had an accomplice on the outside.

Carl Kolchak

He had an accomplice on the outside? [turns to Vincenzo who's talking on a payphone] What's happening?

Tony Vincenzo

Will you shut up a minute! [talks into the phone] Not you.

Carl Kolchak

[turns back to Warren] I talked to one of the guys on the TAC squad. It's that fence- the electric fence. That's what stopped him. [turns to Vincenzo] What did you find out? What?

Tony Vincenzo

1908.

Carl Kolchak

1908! Think. In 1908, in New York City, they caught a Ripper.

I don't have time for this.

Carl Kolchak

No. You gotta... You better make time for it. Because that's one thing he's got plenty of. And if you don't stop him now, he's gonna go on forever.

You're an absurd man, Kolchak.

Carl Kolchak

Listen, it's electricity! Don't you understand? That's the only thing he was scared of in New York City in 1908! Do you know why?

Carl Kolchak

I want to see that prisoner.

Kolchak, he's in Maximum Security. You know what Maximum Security means? Nobody goes in, nobody goes out.

[bursts into the room] That prisoner - he just broke out of Maximum Security!

Carl Kolchak

Ah hah!

Carl Kolchak

[voiceover intro] Popular folklore would have us believe that deep in the underworld there are ruthless men who fear nothing. [pause] This story should debunk that myth.

Carl Kolchak

[voiceover] Captain Leo Winwood and I had a relationship that was long and bloody, like the Crusades, only without the chivalry.

Carl Kolchak

[arriving at the cemetery] Hi there. Carl Kolchak, Independent News Service. Uh, is that grave over there for the body from the morgue?

Tell me about it.

Carl Kolchak

Who are they burying?

They want union trouble, I could blow the lid right off. You know, it's against the law to put two parties in the same plot, unless it's a family plot.

Carl Kolchak

Two parties?

They buried a party there last week. They're stacking 'em like they would be in a high-rise to save money. Oh, what a mess to come back after I've been out sick with the flu.

Carl Kolchak

[turns to see that Captain Winwood has arrived] Yeah. Take care.

Yes, sir.

Carl Kolchak

Looks like we're the only mourners here.

Kolchak, you keep a lot of people away from their jobs by your nosin' around.

Carl Kolchak

Tell me, why is a gold-button captain of the city's finest attending the burial of a black pauper? And who is this black pauper that was buried in this cemetery last week ended up in Russo's burial ground yesterday? And then finally ends up in this cemetery today?

Kolchak, now you get out of here. Or let me put it another way- If you continue to butt into this situation, you're gonna find yourself pounding on your typewriter with casts up to your shoulders.

Carl Kolchak

You gonna break my arms, Captain?

Now, would I wanna do a thing like that to you, Kolchak? Just ask yourself.

Carl Kolchak

[last lines, voiceover] Francois Edmonds, the deceased, was buried for a third time at public expense... a third time. However, THIS time rock salt was poured in his mouth and his lips... were sewn... shut. City officials will deny this but you can see it for yourself. If you'd care to venture out to St. Lucy's Cemetery and... exhume the corpse. Be my guest. If you've got the nerve.

Carl Kolchak

[Voiceover intro] I knew this one would be more than the biggest story of my career. It was the biggest story in the lives of everyone on this planet. I fought for the story, fought harder than ever before. I wanted people to know, to be prepared... if you can be prepared for something like this.

Carl Kolchak

Then I'll have to start at the beginning, with the autopsy on the dead panda.

Tony Vincenzo

[while dining] Carl, start somewhere else, will ya?

Carl Kolchak

[about a man who runs a collection of escorts] Ichabod thought he had added another filly to his stable of trotters. In Ichabod's parlance, his new acquisition was called a fox. He had no way of knowing she was actually more closely related to the bat.

Tony Vincenzo

I'm tired of it, Kolchak. I am fed up. I've got a brother-in-law who's got a 14-year-old he's always bailing out of juvenile hall, but I've got you, and you are worse!

...And on your way home you can drop off your vampire story in Transylvania!

Carl Kolchak

This vampire didn't come from Transylvania, it came from Las Vegas.

Carl Kolchak

Listen, tell me, uh... Tell me, Mr... Mr. Sample, what time does the coroner think that Mr. Mitchell died?

Oh, I'd say about 5:00, 5:30 a.m. I think he lost conciseness way before then.

Carl Kolchak

Beautiful country you got up here. Just gorgeous. Gorgeous country. Fresh, clean air, bright sunshine.

Yes, it's very beautiful.

Carl Kolchak

It is indeed. Tell me, what time does the sun usually come up around here?

In the morning, early.

Carl Kolchak

Oh, I know that! What time, about 5:00, 5:30?

Well, it depends on the season. Why would you want to know that?

Carl Kolchak

Because I think that's about the time Mr. Mitchell was murdered.

You been chewing mescal? Who said he was murdered? I say he died of exposure. You know, Mitchell done stole that car in Vegas. Then he decided to repaint it, and that's why he taped the windows.

Carl Kolchak

[looks at Mitchell's car] Where did he repaint it, huh? On the inside? I mean, that's where the windows are taped. [knocks against the window] On the inside.

You're one of them fellows who likes to hear himself talk, ain't you?

Carl Kolchak

Tell me, did Mr. Mitchell have a couple of puncture marks on his throat, like fang marks?

The last nosy fellow who come through Barstow, somebody done come out and punctured all his tires.

Carl Kolchak

Is that a fact?

Yes, he did.

Carl Kolchak

Thank you very much for your advice, Mr. Sample. It's been a pleasure meeting you and your dog.