[Wade wakes up in a giant cage on wheels after being kidnapped by Jack Sinclair, which is attached behind a limo.]
Ah, that's a good chap. You're through the worst.
Really? Feels like I'm in the middle of the worst right now. Whatever this is.
Let me tell you the first rule of bounty hunting: Know your target like he's your former best friend. And in this case... [informs his app that he caught Wade] He is. The treasures one finds on Facebook Marketplace. The guy I bought it from was a total weirdo, though.
Jack, please don't do this to me.
I believe I already have.
Do you even know why there's a price on my head? Do you even care? When did you become so heartless?
The second rule of bounty hunting: Never let things get personal.
You're my best friend! This is very personal!
You're right, Wade. I should level with you. I'm in dire financial straits. Due to my lawsuit against an unnamed rainforest-themed restaurant franchise, I don't have two pennies to my name.
I told you, the robotic birds in that restaurant make the same joke no matter who walks in.
They were PERSONAL ATTACKS!!!
[Some crows in the sky caw and fly away because of Jack's loud shouting.]
OKAY! WHATEVER!
Never mind. Turning you in, equals turning my life around. But if it helps, I'm truly sorry.
[sarcastically] Yeah, that does actually help. Thank you.
Terrific.
Jack, think about it. How did we get...
[Jack pulls a lever, and Wade is electrocuted while holding the bars.]
Do not touch bars.
Simple. I trapped you, lured you, and cleverly snared you. I was hoping for a little bit more of a fight, to be honest.
I mean, as friends. How did we get here? First Reno and the Renegades, now this stupid bounty. Did you ever value our friendship at all?
We had a good run, but you and I are like the frog carrying the scorpion across the river.
Oh, my God. Not with this story, it goes on forever.
You allow me to ride on your back; despite knowing I cannot resist my nature to sting you. Even if it means we both drown. Except, I'm also a scorpion who knows how to swim. An exquisite scorpion... with beautiful hair and a way with the ladies. Alright, let's get this show on the road.
Jack. JACK! [grabs the bars but gets electrocuted again]
Do not touch bars.
Ouch!
[chuckles] Woo-hoo! [enters the limo while Bill and Mrs. Barnes look at him disgusted, while Susie plays with a Nintendo Switch] Sorry about that, gang. One quick drop-off, then it's Reno, baby. Woo! [pushes a remote control, and a karaoke machine is activated and plays "Send Me an Angel" by Real Life] Karaoke time. You ready, Susie's dad, whose name I can't remember?
For the third time, it's Bill!
[on mic] I don't care. [starts singing] ♪ Do you believe in Heaven above? Do you believe in love? ♪ Take it, Susie's dad. [throws the microphone to Bill, but it hits the window]
You didn't tell you were gonna throw it.
