[holding two plastic balls on a string] These are the Nads of Truth. While your brother is holding these balls, the rest of us will listen to what he has to say, and support him. Feel free to share any and all obstacles that you feel are holding you back as a man.
[given the balls] I'm too short!
And who tells you you're too short?
Every woman on Bumble!
[given the balls] I don't make enough money!
And who says you don't make enough money?
My ex-wife.
Hmmm... another female.
[Hank starts getting suspicious]
[given the balls] Nobody gets my jokes!
And who doesn't get your jokes?
Everyone!
And who is slightly more than half of everyone???
Females!
Fellas, I don't think all women-
Ah ah ah! G.H. has the nads. Go ahead, brother.
Brothers, I've been struggling a lot recently, mostly because this girl I really like put me in the friend-zone before I got a chance to ask her out.
That's bullshit! UGH!
Now, hold on-
Hiiighwaaay tooo theee friend-zone! [beat] See?! Nobody ever gets my jokes!
Now, G.H., I tell you h'what-
NADS.
[takes the balls] Just because a girl wants to be your friend doesn't mean she's a bad person.
Nads. [given the balls] But do friends stay up late laughing on the phone together? Or talk about problems we have with our parents?
[takes the balls] That sounds like a pretty good friend, I-
[takes the balls] She was leading me on! Eli's right! Females are the problem!
If she just wants to be your friend, that's her choice, and you need to respect her decision.
[the other men all groan and voice their disapproval]
What's the problem with respecting her decision? That's the foundation for a good relationship!
Yeah, if you're a spineless, dickless jellyfish.
Actually, I think jellyfish-
Remember we talked about which animals have dicks!
I think all of you need a lesson on chivalry.
You're a beta!
Jellyfish!
[takes the balls] Alright, nad talk over. Don't listen to them, G.H.
Why would I listen to you?
Because I'm almost certain that I'm the only one here who still has a wife.
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