Kenan quotes from Kenan & Kel

[Kenan is setting the table for Thanksgiving dinner] Hey Kenan, whatcha doing?

Kenan

What's it look like I'm doing? I'm setting the table.

Yeah; setting it wrong.

Kenan

[After He and Kel return from the comic book convention, having left Sharla to fend for herself] Hey Sharla, I'm ba... What happened?

Kel

Well, Obviously the register broke, the ice machine overflowed and the hot dogs caught on fire.

Kenan

Duh.

Kenan

[after buying an inexpensive television] Man! Why'd you have to break the video camera? No, no, better yet...why'd you lose the winnin' raffle ticket? No, no..why'd you have to break Chris's TV ?!

Kel

It was an accident. It was an accident.

Kel

I had to get my balloon back.

Kenan

Oh, man. I'm-- I'm dead. Oh, I'm dead. I'm de-dead.

Kel

[singing] DEAD, DEAD, KENAN, KENAN, DEAD, DEAD, KENAN, KENAN, DEAD, DEAD, KENAN, KENAAAAAAAN!

Kenan

STOP IT!

Kel

I'm sorry, I can't get that tune out of my head.

The Salem Witch Trials were held in Salem, Massachusetts in the year 1692.

Very good!

Twenty people were falsely accused of being witches. With little or no evidence they were put to death.

Marc

Well, maybe they were witches.

Kenan

Oh come on! Everybody knows that there's no such thing as witches.

That's not true. There are witches, there are a *lot* of witches.

Well it is true that people actually still practice witchcraft.

That's right, but that doesn't make them evil monsters. Most of the people who practice witchcraft are normal like you, or you, or me!

Kenan

Ah! Normal people, like you! [his chair breaks]

Kel

Maybe a ninja stole your watch! He broke into your room all like, "I'm a ninja! I'm a ninja!"

Chris

Now Kenan, you shouldn’t jump to conclusions

Chris

THIEF!

Kenan

WHYYYYYYYY???

Marc Cram

I am so A-N-G-R-Y!

Kel

Your hungry?

ANGRY!

You people are the worst neighbors in the entire world!

Kenan

There is no way that I have a 3, okay?! I mean, this has gotta be some kinda mistake or somethin'.

Kel

Wait a minute, Kenan. Maybe 3 isn't such a bad score. Let's look at the chart.

Kel

90 and above is "genius". That's me! Okay, okay...3...3..."near genius"..."above average"..."below average"...

Kenan

Aw, that's enough, Kel.

Kel

"Way below average"..."dumb"...oh, oh; 3, 3, here it is, right here...n-never mind.

Kel

You're out of orange soda.

Kenan

That's impossible; I just put some in the refrigerator.

Kel

Yeah, and you're out of refrigerators, too.

[Seeing Kel passed out on the floor] What's wrong with him?

Kenan

A lot of things. Basically, he just passed out when he found out what had happened.

Marc Cram

You just destroyed the "M"'s through "Z"'s...

Kenan

WHYYYYYYYY???!!!!

Kenan

All we have to do is make it seem that Chris' life is interesting. Give me the phone.

Kel

Oh I see where your going with this. When Chris' brother sees him with this phone he will be so impressed!

Kenan

Kel, grab (At this point, Kenan lists several items, usually with no logical relation, such as a cow, a sandbag, a television and a pound of butter) and meet me at the (Kenan names a random location). Now come on, (some weird nickname e.g. Skippy!)

Kel

But where do I find those things? (Kel then makes several complaints regarding the items). KE-KENAN!! Awww, here it goes!

Kenan

Kel, get a bucket of glue and meet me at the church. Let's go on to the church.

Kel

Kenan! No, no! You're gonna get people all sticky. Kenan, thou shalt not glue! K-Kenan? Aw, here it goes!