Jonathan is posing as a camera operator
It's called a Steadicam. It eliminates jerks.
So does Clint Eastwood, I wouldn't want him strapped to my chest.
Characters
JonathanAlan Davies · 28 quotes
MaddyCaroline Quentin · 13 quotes
MMaddie10 quotes
Adam KlausStuart Milligan · 3 quotes
Most scenes together: Jonathan & Maddy (12), Jonathan & Maddie (7)
S1The Wrestler's Tomb
My big passion. The golden age of illusion: Robert Houdin, Makelyne, Devant. I was born a hundred years too late, basically.
[Seeing Jonathan's collection] I take it this is a disease that struck in childhood?
I never wanted to be a magician as such; swanning about with silk hankies. It was... I dunno... The ingenuity at the back of it. Always fascinated the hell out of me.
People beg me to explain something; it's the last thing they want to hear, 'cause you're disproving a miracle. Houdini walked through a wall two bricklayers had built onstage: People swore he had the power to dematerialise. You find out he he used a trapdoor under a carpet, it's too mundane: you feel cheated. That's all magic is, an illusion.
S1Jack in the Box
You know Jack Holliday died?
Yeah, it's the only thing he ever did that made me laugh.
Oh, that's great! The poor man's dead!
I bet that won't stop him overacting, though.
I nearly rang you. I'd get as far as the last digit, but something would always stop me. I suppose it was the thought of getting sucked into another one of your grisly murder investigations. You know how you always fear the worst
[laughs brightly]
Stop this car.
Jonathan...
[scoffing] 'Flush out the carbon monoxide with some sea air'?
No Time to Lose.
Right. Where are we going?
Anywhere! As far away from here as possible. That could have been my head skewered to the matress!
Now just hang about. You can't tell me you've unravelled this whole thing and then bugger off! What kind of spineless cretin are you?
No special kind. Just your average cretin... with a train to catch.
We mustn't confuse what's impossible with what's implausible. Just about everything I dream up for a living relies on stuff that's highly implausible. That's what makes it so hard to work out; no-one thinks you'd go to that much trouble to fool your audience.
S1The Reconstituted Corpse
[Talking to her Publisher] I've got this theory that Jonathan Creek is himself an illusion. Just when you think you've found him, he drifts through your fingers like smoke.
SShelford
That was unfortunate. I completely misjudged the water pressure on those taps and, of course, it went everywhere. Fortunately! It's not urine, so it won't stain.
Jonathan So let's run through this from the top. The wardrobe was empty; you closed the door, brought it upstairs, through this door... along here... around here... and into this room, against that wall. By which time, somehow or other, the cupboard has acquired a body. Brutally battered to death across the back of her head. Hmm. [Pause] It's a good one isn't it?
'A Good One'?! Is that all you can say? Somewhere between here and the ground someone's planted a corpse in my cupboard and I didn't even see it happen!
[After checking out the wardrobe] Nope. All seems pukka. No panels, no breakaways, no phantom joints... just a wardrobe really. [Pause] You want to know how it was done?
Yes.
That makes two of us.
S1No Trace of Tracy
RPRoy Pilgrim
[On the phone with his solicitor] No, Mr Danzigger "a trifle baffling" won't do. A trifle baffling doesn't get near it. My bride-to-be's flushed me down the toilet, I'm looking at charges of abduction and possibly murder and all because I wasn't smart enough to lie my way out of this thing when it really mattered. They can put the entire cast of Goodbye, Mr Chips on the witness stand, but it doesn't change what I saw. If you're any kind of lawyer, you'd better start getting your act... [sees Jonathan and Maddie at the gate] ...ah, look I'll call you back.
[Jonathan and Maddie are waiting at Roy Pilgrim's garden gate]
[Indicating the french windows of the house beyond the gate] That's the one, then. You could hardly miss her from here, so when she pressed this bell, someone must have let her in. [Presses intercom button]
What are you doing?
We've got to check it out.
I can't go in there!
Why not?
Roy Pilgrim!? I can't meet Roy Pilg...you're talking about mythology. You reduce someone like that to flesh and blood and the whole thing is destroyed, the whole icon.
Jonathan, you're beginning to sound like a prat.
Sorry.
RPRoy Pilgrim
[Over the intercom] What does it take to make you go away?
Look, I'm sorry about yesterday (She posed as a detective), but I'm really quite interested in helping you actually. If you'd just take a minute to let us in.
RPRoy Pilgrim
What are you?
Right now Mr Pilgrim? We're the only hope you've got.
S1The House of Monkeys
[Maddie discovers Cathy had slept with her father-in-law]
CSCathy Strange
What you knew? How?
ISIngrid Strange
I may be a wizened old bat in your eyes, Cathy. That doesn't mean I'm as blind as one. Some other time I'll give you a lesson in subliminal bonding gestures. For God's sake, I'd seen it coming for months. I'd almost say he needed it to flush it out of his system. Afterward when he told me and all the guilt came out, he threw himself on my mercy and...
CSCathy Strange
You're lying! Elliot would never tell...
ISIngrid Strange
Kathy! You have the body of a woman and the brain of a sexually stunted newt!
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Jonathan Creek pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.