You know Jack Holliday died?
Yeah, it's the only thing he ever did that made me laugh.
Oh, that's great! The poor man's dead!
I bet that won't stop him overacting, though.
I nearly rang you. I'd get as far as the last digit, but something would always stop me. I suppose it was the thought of getting sucked into another one of your grisly murder investigations. You know how you always fear the worst
[laughs brightly]
Stop this car.
Jonathan...
[scoffing] 'Flush out the carbon monoxide with some sea air'?
No Time to Lose.
Right. Where are we going?
Anywhere! As far away from here as possible. That could have been my head skewered to the matress!
Now just hang about. You can't tell me you've unravelled this whole thing and then bugger off! What kind of spineless cretin are you?
No special kind. Just your average cretin... with a train to catch.
We mustn't confuse what's impossible with what's implausible. Just about everything I dream up for a living relies on stuff that's highly implausible. That's what makes it so hard to work out; no-one thinks you'd go to that much trouble to fool your audience.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Jonathan Creek pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.