Johnny[running] Did you see a gorilla around here?
Johnny
Did you see a gorilla around here?
Johnny
Did you see a gorilla around here?
GWGorgeous woman
[flirtatious tone] No.
Johnny
Did you see a... [pauses and runs backwards]
Johnny
Hey there hot mama, you wouldn't happen to be hiding a gorilla under them clothes, would you?
[gorgeous woman grabs Johnny by the arm and entangles him into a battered down victim with little effort]
Johnny
Yeah. She wants me.
What are you doing in my cave, son? Didn't you see the signs? It says "stay out".
Johnny
No. It says, "Do not enter without--"
Shut up, kid. I know what it says. Do you have any idea who I am?
Johnny
A bear in the woods.
Of course, I'm a bear in the woods! But I'm not just any bear. [dramatically] I am Chronos! Master of all time! [thunder and lightning cracks]
Johnny
Good for you. Well, you know, I was just lookin' for my mama, and I should be...
[Chronos growls and snorts in Johnny's face.]
Johnny
Man! You have smelled yourself?
You fool! Don't you understand what I'm telling you? I control all time! Here, I'll prove it to you! [presses several buttons on a device]
DDevice
At the town, the time will be exactly 8:35 and 3 seconds.
You're wrong! It's 8:36 and 12 seconds! [to Johnny] See? I'm Chronos! Master of all time! [thunder and lightning cracks] Do you know what my favorite magazine is?
Johnny
Young Bride?
No. It's Time. Someday, I'm going to be on the cover.
Johnny
Well, I'm happy for you and all, mister, but I gotta--
Where do you think you're going? You're in big trouble, kid. You woke me up early from my hibernation.
Johnny
No, I didn't. You see that clock? It's midnight.
That's a VCR, kid! Not even I, Chronos, master of all time can set one of those... [sees Johnny running away] things.
[Johnny has been placed into a cooking pot by Chronos.]
Johnny
What are you doing?
I'm afraid I'm going to have to eat you, kid.
Johnny
Uh, you don't wanna eat me, bear. See, I'm too pretty to eat.
You don't understand, kid. I'm hungry. I haven't eaten in six months. Ever tried that, son?
Johnny
No.
Being master of all time, I must strictly adhere to my set schedule. Am I reaching you, kid?
Johnny
No.
See this? This is my yearly calendar. Sleep and eat. Eat and sleep. Am I sleeping?
Johnny
No.
Well then, guess who's coming to dinner.
WWaiter
May I help you, sir?
Johnny
Table for two, please.
WWaiter
I'm sorry, sir. We only serve humans.
CCarol
Wait a minute! Aren't you Mike Stevens?
CCarol
You went to college with my father.
WWaiter
Oh my gosh! Carol? Oh, wow! I didn't even recognize you. Oh my goodness! You've gotten so big.
CCarol
You say that to all of the antelope. You look great, Mike.
[Andy passes a surfboard to Johnny]
Johnny
What am I supposed to do with this?
AAndy
You're supposed to jazz the glass.
Johnny
Nuh-uh, man, that sound nasty.
AAndy
No, no, what kind of square are you? Smooth the curl!
Johnny
No way, kid, I ain't smoothing no curl. This hair is my crowning glory! Hyah!
AAndy
No, no! Trip the wave fantastic!
Johnny
Come again?
AAndy
Surf, daddy-o! Surf!
Johnny
Oh...
Johnny
Give me two tickets, please.
TBTicket booth woman
No pets allowed.
Johnny
She ain't no pet. She's a werewolf.
TBTicket booth woman
A werewolf? [screams and flees]
Johnny
I guess that means we don't have to pay.
KKid
Look, Mommy! That guy's looking at pictures of almost naked men!
[the whole store stares at Johnny]
Johnny
This is a men's fitness magazine, I want to look like this, not at this... I've got nothin' to be ashamed of!
[walks up to cashier ashamed, and drops change on the counter]
Johnny
...TV Guide.
Johnny
What's this horsey thing again?
Johnny
Can I move here?
Johnny
King me!
CComputer
THERE IS NO "KING ME" IN CHESS!
Johnny
[plays with pieces] Look at me! I'm a martian!
[Computer self-destructs]
Johnny Bravo · 95 quotes
