IZombie · Season 1
What a waste. All this sound and fury. And for what? Nothing. I've got friends in high places. Tomorrow's headline, 'Crackpot shoots up butcher shop'. Kill my crew, I'll make more. Kill my customers, I'll make more. You cost me money. I'll make -
[Liv stabs Blaine with the zombie cure]
Make more now, bitch.
Oh, man. He doesn't know? Dude, you are about to go out with one large dose of irony. Seattle's preeminent zombie hunter, not realizing the entire time that his own beloved - I mean, the hair, the eyes, the complexion. You thought those were, what? Just questionable style choices?
It's not what fate dealt me, Liv. You did. The same person who let me check myself into a mental hospital, let me think I was crazy. But when you had a chance to play God and-and decide whether I died or became this, did you decide based on what you wanted or what you thought I wanted? If it's what you thought I wanted, then you don't know me as well as you think you do.
[last lines]
Your brother has-has lost a lot of blood, and he's going to need more in order to survive. Unfortunately, he's O-negative, and we don't have any.
Liv is O-negative. Remember? That time you sliced open your head on that nail. Evan was a match for you. Oh, thank God you had your phone on.
We don't have much time. Can you come with me, Miss Moore?
Liv? Did you hear him? There's more. Liv. Liv. Go with the doctor!
No.
[Liv leaves the hospital after visiting her brother]
[narrating] I couldn't have given Evan my blood even if I had been willing to turn him into a zombie. The second some nurse took my pulse, my temperature, they would've quarantined me. Maybe it's better I'm radioactive, that I repel the people I love. Keep things simple. Harden yourself, Liv. You're a monster. Act like one.
[Liv for the first time visits Blaine at his place of business at the funeral home]
Oh, the humanity.
[Blaine chuckles] You see anything you like? [surrounded by coffins] It's so rare the dead get to choose. I got one with a breakaway lid that's a real-time saver for today's zombie looking to make that classic-hand-shooting-up-through-the-dirt big entrance.
[Blaine questions Liv about why she's still pretending to be a cop]
I'm curious. Why? Why are you still suiting up for Team Z? The uniform sucks. Morale is, let's be honest, consistently low. Don't tell me you've actually developed a taste for brains. [Liv remains silent] Hold the phone! You dig it. You get off on being a hero, don't you? [Blaine begins imitating actor, Jimmy Stewart] Oh, would you... Would you look at that. That's a... That's a crime-solving zombie. Roger, get in here! Why, she's a credit to her species. Why can't they all be like her?
[Blaine laughs] It's not a choice.
Zombies don't deserve our mercy, so just put that thought out of your head. [Du Clark chuckles before exhaling] How to explain? I love submarine movies. Big fan. And there's always this moment... It's the moment where the sub is torpedoed, and the compartment is flooding, and the captain's gotta give the order to, 'seal it up,' even though he still knows that there are men still alive in there. Cut to the sailor who receives that order. Tears in his eyes, closing that hatch on his comrades. The man that closes that hatch is a hero, isn't he? [the scene cuts to showing a man be attacked in his own home] But we are both doing what needs to be done. We are saving lives. There are zombies living among us. And they are feasting on human brains. Where do they get these brains? Who knows? But don't you think it's a good idea to put an end to it? Sure, they look like us, they sound like us, but if you think about them as brain-eating atomic bombs, you'll sleep like a baby.
You've got the wrong man for the job.
Why would I want to help? I'm human. I got a thriving business. I just learned I've been pre-approved for a Best Buy card. I've gone legit. Put my criminal ways behind me.
We're not sure if your cure is permanent. The first batch killed the test rat inside of two days.
And which batch did you shoot me up with?
[Liv smiles] The second.
I'm really gonna need a hand with this, so let me know when things get extrasensory.
[Clive walks off as Ravi whispers to Liv] Well, I hope you like Jäger bombs and homoerotic subtext.
[the scene cuts to the scenes of Liv microwaving, eating, and washing the dishes after eating Chad's brains]
[Clive calls Liv] Can you meet me upstairs?
Yes.
[Liv turns, burps, and walks forward] And so it begins...
I know you can't fully control your actions when you're on a brain, but I really need you to try and rein in the bro. We would be in serious trouble if someone came in and saw how you arranged the medical skeletons. And this, this is unacceptable. What if someone came in to identify their loved one and the medical examiner had "fart" written on his forehead? It isn't funny.
It's pretty funny.
It really isn't.
It kinda is.
I can assure you it isn't funny.
[Major bumps into Liv, who calls him bro when trying to talk to him]
I’m on frat boy brains at the moment, and everything’s getting filtered through the bro-zone layer.
[Major chuckles] I'm on frat boy brains. 'No big whoop.' Just like you're doing a cleanse. Eating dead people brains.
It's just a fact of my life right now. Look past it, please. I wanna catch up.
Sorry, bro. No can do.
[Liv strolls over the Alpha Beta house on a search to find Chad's killer]
[narrating] Right now, I've got one word in my bro-cabulary, and that word is 'Justice'. I am going on a vision quest of all vision quests. I will not rest until I find the bastard who... [Liv screams out when seeing a table] Beer Pong! Time to get your balls wet, bro!
[Liv watches Sonny get arrested for the murder of Chad Wolcoff]
[narrating] Our lives are a collection of choices. Sonny chose to avenge his father. I chose to not tell my fiance I'm a zombie. We make our own beds. Seems beneath our dignity to whine when we're forced to sleep in them. But Major held me... Held me and told me he would let nothing happen to me. Maybe, just this once, there's a do-over.
Hey, later-later, like Friday, I was thinking we could all grab a drink after work, maybe get a bite to eat? I mean, if you guys are free. It's just been a while since we got together.
Friday's tricky, yeah. I've been seeing Stephanie. You know, the girl I met at the club. Been seeing a lot of her, actually. She's trying to get Friday night off work so she can fix me a home-cooked meal. Turns out, right, she's got this whole Martha Stewart side to her. Which, combined with her raw honesty and lack of intellectual pretense is giving me a sense of emotional intimacy I've not felt in a long time, you know?
Can't. Busy. (leaves)
God, I thought he'd never shut up.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's IZombie pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
