IZombie · Season 1
[Liv, Clive, and Ravi go over the hotel security tapes that were watching over Syd Wicked's hotel room]
So, Syd went into his room alive, no one else came in or out of it, and yet, he was murdered?
You know what this means, right? The murder is a magic trick. Sometimes I really love this job.
We'd like to ask you some questions about Syd Wicked.
He's not dead. I bet it's a stunt. Syd's very talented.
Trust me, he's dead.
[Houdina smiles] Whatever you say.
You know Steph, the woman I'm kind of seeing?
'Kind of seeing.' Yeah. Women love when you use qualifiers like that.
I like her, it's... My question is, look, she just changed her Facebook status to 'In a relationship.'
And that freaked you out. Look, I change my status to 'In a relationship' all the time, just to get dudes to leave me alone.
Yeah. Okay. I can see that.
We were young and doing crappy clubs. Syd's whole gimmick was the goth, death thing. But it was just an onstage persona.
He didn't believe in that stuff?
Ah! No. When I met him, he was still going by Steve and owned all the Police Academy movies. Over the years, he got more and more into it. When he told me he'd hired a Wiccan to perform the wedding ceremony, I got the hell out of there.
Well, she's just getting a bit intense, you know, okay... I mean, she told me we're celebrating Guy Fawkes Day tomorrow. I didn't have the heart to tell her it was a few weeks ago.
[Peyton chuckles] Guy Fawkes Day, huh? Yeah... she's definitely going to propose.
Let's get it all out in the open, Man-Things. What about Liv? She's not glomming onto you, is she? She's not cramping your style? She's not being too needy?
No. It's all good. Real good. [Peyton and Ravi remain quiet] I mean, today she left me a voice-mail about how drowning would be a beautiful way to die, but otherwise, you know, same old Liv.
Ah, yeah, uh, she's rolling hard on a death-obsessed magician. It will pass. She just needs to eat someone else's brain.
Is that all?
Mm-hmm.
Question. Since the two of you have really experienced zombie Liv first-hand, how extreme do her personality swings get?
She can be a bit mercurial. But most of the time I enjoy the variety. Of course, I don't have to date her.
There was the time her eyes turned red and she killed someone. I'm thinking that was probably a one-off.
A one-off. That's good.
Twitter, a vast collection of humanity's impetuous thought vomitings.
I'd like to think I'm quite introspective about what I tweet to my 223 followers.
[magician-brain Liv stands in the morgue over Syd Wicked's dead body while surrounded by candles]
Well, would you look at that? The death card. The 13th trump in the Tarot. A fitting reminder that no matter how clever a path we run, the Reaper always takes his bounty.
[Blaine walks into the morgue] Did you eat Edgar Allen Poe?
Let's start with you, Harpo Marx.
Look at us, on a stakeout. You're like, the stoic by-the-book veteran and I'm the fun guy who...
Who deals drugs and kills homeless teenagers.
I was gonna says, "Doesn't play by the rules," but sure.
You know those five missing gentlemen in the newspapers, the ones the FBI has seen fit to investigate?
Yeah?
Well, three of them were big fans of brains. I know. They were my customers. It seems someone out there is killing Seattle's zombies.
And you're here to warn me? To make sure that I watch my back?
Oh, God, no. I'm telling you this because I need your help to stop whoever's killing our living-challenged friends. Not to mention, it's bad for my bottom line. So, what do you say, partner? Should we take justice into our own hands? [Blaine holds up the Justice Tarot card]
You killed the fourth man who walked on the moon?
Please, nobody cares about the fourth person to do something.
[Clive arrives to the crime scene of Syd Wicked's dead body]
Ugh! What is that horrible, horrible smell?
I'm guessing it's the dead body.
So, I took a gander around the room, and found this in the wastebasket, with this lovely note attached. 'Welcome to PrestoFest.' 'Here's a gift from your fellow magicians.' So I thinks to myself, 'Hmm. Okay. Kind of boilerplate stuff.' Maybe they thought the summer sausage would make up for the stock sentiments. But wait, there's more.
We're all hoping.
[Ravi reveals the old piece of meat] Ugh!
[as Ravi concludes on reading the note] 'Enjoy the decay!'
These quotes come from Wikiquote's IZombie pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
