[to Livia, concerning Claudius] That grandson of yours could wreck the empire just by strolling through it.
“Poison is Queen”
In this episode: Livia (2), Tiberius (2), Nero Claudius Drusus (1), Augustus (1)
[about Augustus] Well don't bother on my account, for Gods know I've done my best. He's never liked me, never. Thirty years I've run his errands for him; I've fought on his bloody frontiers, collected his taxes. He never once put his hand on my arm and said "Thank you, what would I have done without you?" Now he sends me off to Illyricum and he doesn't even plan a farewell dinner; not even a goodbye, just "Get on your horse and ride." Well, damn him! I retired before once and I can do it again! Let his precious grandson run his empire for him. I'm sick to death of it.
[to Augustus pruning a plant] If you prune any more of that there'll be nothing left.
What are you now, an expert on gardening? Is that something else you've become lately?
I'm only telling you. The gardners all complained you spoiled them last year.
And whose garden is this?
You're not the only one who uses it!
How long have we been married?
Don't you remember?
Fifty years, and in all that time you've never been able to tell one plant from another. And now, suddenly, you know all there is to know about pruning. Wonderful!
I think your brain's going soft, you know that? Nobody can talk to you any more.
Anyone can talk to me at any time, except you. You don't talk to people. You bully them.
This conversation is becoming ridiculous.
Wrong, this conversation was ridiculous from the start.
[to Claudius, concerning the Senate] They won't allow me in because I am a woman, and they won't allow you in because you're a fool. That's strange when you come to think of it: because it's filled with nothing but old women and fools.
[To Livia's empty chair] Poison is queen! Poison is queen!
These quotes come from Wikiquote's I, Claudius pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.