[Naomi, the Slutty Pumpkin, has mutually agreed with Ted to end their relationship]
Naomi: Ted, I've been looking for the hot Hanging Chad for the last nine Halloweens. I've waded through a parade of Big Lebowskis, Harry Potters, Antoine Dodsons and the jackass who always dresses as laundry.
Ted: I hate that guy.
Naomi: That's why when I finally found you... it was hard to let go. Goodbye, Ted. [offers handshake, but Ted tries to hug her.] Let's not touch, ever.
Ted: Probably a good idea. [Naomi leaves]

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