[Ted has just smashed his gingerbread house because Marshall said that after the pregnancy false alarm, he and Lily want a dog]
[to Marshall and Lily] Are you kidding me?!? All you ever talk about is having kids, and now you have one little freakout, you want to get a dog instead? No, unacceptable! You're gonna turn around, go home, get naked, lie together as man and wife until Lily is great with child! Right now. [couple still look at him] I'M SERIOUS, GO GO GO!
[after seeing the two leave, murmuring to Robin] Marshall and Lily got in trouble...
And YOU! Barney, you look real stupid in that suit. You're gonna get your money back and give it to charity - and I don't mean that stripper you keep emailing us about even though we begged you to take us off that list.
I can't give this suit back. Ted, I glow in the dark. I finally glow in the dark.
[shouts] Criminals of New York, attention! This man is wearing a diamond-encrusted suit, you could retire on the pants alone. Merry Christmas! [Barney runs away and Ted confronts Robin]
So if I get a large popcorn, would you go split-ski -
And you, you did not move into the greatest city on Earth to become a coin-flipping bimbo. [takes out coin] So, here's how it goes - Heads, you take the job at Worldwide News. Tails, you take the job at Worldwide News. [flips coin into Robin's face] Hey, looks like somebody got a new gig!
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