Duncan MacLeod quotes from Highlander: The Series

Duncan MacLeod

Let me know when you've found the formula.

Richie

The formula?

Duncan

For getting in shape without training.

Duncan

Immortals can't have children.

Richie

Exactly Mac, this happened before I became an immortal.

Duncan

That's not the way it works.

Richie

Maybe I'm the first.

Duncan

I wish it could happen. But it's not in the cards. We don't get to live happily ever after. Children aren't part of our lives...it can't happen.

Richie

It just did.

Richie

I didn't know if I'd find you alive. What the hell happened?

Duncan

I lived.

Richie

Very funny. And the other guy?

Duncan

He lived too.

Joe

Hey MacLeod, what do you think? Is it me?

Duncan

The truth? I'd say it's a little out of character.

Joe

You know, I wasn't born in a museum. In fact, I'm kinda tired of hanging around old antiques like you. Look at me, I'm growing old.

Duncan

I think you need some oil and vinegar.

Richie

I'm lucky I didn't need a funeral.

Anne

I said everybody.

Duncan MacLeod

Oh, you mean me?

Anne

Unless you're the one with the special dispensation from the Pope.

Duncan

Must've left it in my other pants.

Anne

We have a wonderful hearing specialist upstairs, you want a referral?

Duncan

Pardon?

Anne

Forget it. Get out, go!

Duncan MacLeod

Joe, I want you to meet Amanda. Amanda... Joe Dawson.

Amanda

I'll bet you have. I hear you're one of those guys who likes to watch.

Joe

It's clinical. For history. We don't get involved.

Amanda

Well, tell me... Do you watch us do... everything?

Joe

Only the things I can't get arrested for.

Amanda

[to MacLeod] I like this guy.

Duncan

I need you to help me break into the museum.

Amanda

You want me to WHAT?! I knew you were up to something. For three hundred years you've been telling me to go legit. Now that I'm straight, you want me to steal.

Duncan

You hate your job.

Amanda

That's not the point.

Duncan

In a good cause.

Amanda

Don't you look at me like that. No, I'm retired. You wouldn't ask an alcoholic to take a drink for a good cause.

Duncan

You can't kill him with that, Joe.

Joe

I know, but I can sure as hell slow him down until I can.

Duncan

You won't get close enough to use it. Let me do this... For both of us.

Amanda

Did you know he could do that?

Duncan

No. [with irony] You know, It's funny. The man knows more about me than anyone else alive, yet I hardly know anything about him..

Amanda

God, to sing like that...he must have had a helluva life.

Duncan

Probably...

Amanda

You want to ask him about it?

Duncan

No... when he's ready, he'll tell me.

Whoa, hold up, time out! That was the morgue. I was in the morgue!

Duncan MacLeod

Keep your voice down.

Michelle

Why?

Duncan

Because we are sneaking out of here!

Michelle

No, I mean, why was I in there?

Duncan

Don't worry, you're not dead.

Michelle

Oh, gee, thanks. That explains it.

Michelle

You mean I'm never going to turn nineteen?

Duncan

But you might get to see a thousand.

Michelle

You do know I've always had a thing for you. Since the first time I laid eyes on you.

Duncan

You were eleven years old!

Michelle

I matured early.

Michelle

Oh, so is that what you guys do? Run around chopping each other's heads off?

Duncan

Until there's only one of us left alive.

Michelle

I don't think so.

Duncan

Michelle, I'm not your father and this isn't a fairy tale! Now you either learn the Game, or you die.

Michelle

You know, Duncan, you really have a gift for taking the fun out of eternal life.

Duncan

It'll get better.

Michelle

I sure hope so.

Duncan

No, I mean your... outlook.

Michelle

Oops. Almost slipped. You were gonna say "attitude".

Michelle

You know what, Duncan? That is "Dad speak". And you're pretty lousy at that too.