Salmoneus quotes from Hercules: The Legendary Journeys

Hercules

[Right after Salmoneus fell from the tree] How'd you get up there, anyway?

Salmoneus

Some lunatic Cyclops kicked me in the rear and sent me flying.

Salmoneus

OK, now here's what I could do. I could call one of my togas, the 'Hercules Deluxe-ees'-- huh? Just tell me which ones you wanna buy.

Hercules

I don't wanna buy any of them.

Salmoneus

Oh, you want something for nothing, huh?

Hercules

That's not what I mean.

Salmoneus

No, what you mean is, you don't care about your image. But you better start, my friend, 'cause the public is fickle. All right-- tell you what I'm gonna do. I'm gonna give you your own line of togas-- cut you in for a piceof the action--huh, huh? And here's the advertising slogan. 'Hercules, the giant killer-- takes a giant step forward in fashion!' Pretty snappy, huh?

Xena

Are you a biographer, or a bad comedian, or have you dreamed up some other get rich scheme?

Salmoneus

How about love slave? I'm versatile.

Xena

You're deluded.

I want my son to be safe.

Hercules

Don't worry, Salmoneus will keep him safe.

Salmoneus

He'll be safe. I'll be a wreck.

Salmoneus

Oh, ho, dear. Lyla, Lyla, do... does she remind you of anyone we both know?

Hercules

Come to think of it, she looks a little like Xena.

Salmoneus

Yeah, hah! Different dispostion, though, huh?

I didn't kill your wife, but I was a part of those responsible. I was wrong and I'm sorry.

Sorry won't bring Lyla back.

Hercules

Neither will holding onto your hate.

Salmoneus

He's not on their side anymore. He fought against them.

Apology accepted-

-friend.

(Democles clasps his arm) Friend.