Hellcats · Season 1
(about cheerleaders) We are an internationally recognized competitive sport. We spend 20 hours a week practicing. We bench press twice our body weight and run a 7-minute mile. We compete with broken thumbs and twisted ankles, smiling through the pain. We are athletes.
Back in Dollywood, maybe.
Dan [to Marti]: Hey, you are mighty. You are Bat Girl.
You are blindly optimistic.
Oh hey, I'm one of the new girls, Marti.
I know who you are. I voted against you. I was overruled. Democracy's a bitch.
Apparently, so are you.
You know, I don't trust any culture that builds pyramids. Human or otherwise. You know, Egyptians enslaved the Jews.
Aztecs, human sacrifices.
Freemasons put pyramids on money giving us (pauses) Dan Brown.
They've earned their spot in hell.
Right next to the cheerleaders.
Plenty of time to ponder the imponderable.
Today's topic?
Okay, what makes a person decide to become a cheerleader?
Science. You know, over time all that pep builds up pressure.
So, they have to vent.
Otherwise their heads explode.
Gather up, Hellcats! Do you feel it? Do you feel the weight? Today, one squad will qualify for regionals. No one in their right mind thinks it's gonna be us. The university, they've given us an ultimatum: place at nationals, or they will gut our program. Are you feeling the weight? Well, I'm not. I'm light as a feather. Because you are champions of the spirit. You ignore the scoreboard! Long odds are irrelevant. In the face of seemingly insurmountable adversity, you do not waver. You roll, you tumble, you fly.
Who are those guys?
Memphis Christian. The team to beat.
Not much for showing the skin, are they?
Well, Mem-Chris is a religious school. Jesus is the wind beneath their skirts.
(sees Marti at qualifiers) Well, Marti Beth Perkins, what a surprise to see you here. My invitation must have gotten lost in the mail.
Mom...
Did you really think I wouldn't find out? I am Facebook friends with half your squad!
Oh my God! Who are you?
Wanda [to Marti]: I love you, and I am so proud of you, and Marti, Marti! I wouldn't miss one of your events for the whole wide world. (licks her finger and rubs Marti's face) Look at that eyeliner. You look like a truck stop tranny.
(referring to her dress) I bought this for my date with Dan. What does this dress say?
Back off, this is my street corner.
(to Vanessa) You always did play hard to get. This feels like old times. What do they call it? Deja vu? I love the French. They have a name for everything!
(Marti arrives to class her class late)
Ah, Ms. Perkins. In a court of law, what happens when one party is late?
The, um, late party is held in contempt.
That's correct. But that's not the real punishment. Does anyone know what the real punishment is? Mr. Pepper?
The judge and jury, those who dictate the outcome of your case, they won't take you seriously.
Thank you, Mr. Pepper.
In the American justice system, perception is reality...
Please stop speaking, Mr. Pepper.
Marti [to Julian]: Thank you so much. I'm sorry to drag you down here like this.
Well, I hope you at least learned something.
I learned the cops around here have no problem lying.
Everyone lies. That's my first rule for successful delegation. You work for the lie, you make it work for you.
I won't ever forget it.
Look, it's 6:00am. Stop kissing my ass, and start working on that assignment I gave you.
(to Dan about Savannah) Hey, why'd she call your relationship casual? That girl wouldn't know casual if it walked right up to her and said, "Hey, yeah, whatever."
(about Lewis) Someone is checking us out, and by 'us', I mean you.
Do not encourage him.
Why the hell not?
He asked me out and I blew him off.
With that body? If you're not interested, I will take a swing at that.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Hellcats pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
