Marti quotes from Hellcats

Marti

You are blindly optimistic.

Marti

(to Dan about Savannah) Hey, why'd she call your relationship casual? That girl wouldn't know casual if it walked right up to her and said, "Hey, yeah, whatever."

Savannah

(about cheerleaders) We are an internationally recognized competitive sport. We spend 20 hours a week practicing. We bench press twice our body weight and run a 7-minute mile. We compete with broken thumbs and twisted ankles, smiling through the pain. We are athletes.

Marti

Back in Dollywood, maybe.

Marti

Oh hey, I'm one of the new girls, Marti.

Alice

I know who you are. I voted against you. I was overruled. Democracy's a bitch.

Marti

Apparently, so are you.

Marti

You know, I don't trust any culture that builds pyramids. Human or otherwise. You know, Egyptians enslaved the Jews.

Dan

Aztecs, human sacrifices.

Marti

Freemasons put pyramids on money giving us (pauses) Dan Brown.

Dan

They've earned their spot in hell.

Marti

Right next to the cheerleaders.

Dan

Plenty of time to ponder the imponderable.

Marti

Today's topic?

Dan

Okay, what makes a person decide to become a cheerleader?

Marti

Science. You know, over time all that pep builds up pressure.

Dan

So, they have to vent.

Marti

Otherwise their heads explode.

Marti

Who are those guys?

Vanessa

Memphis Christian. The team to beat.

Marti

Not much for showing the skin, are they?

Vanessa

Well, Mem-Chris is a religious school. Jesus is the wind beneath their skirts.

Wanda

(sees Marti at qualifiers) Well, Marti Beth Perkins, what a surprise to see you here. My invitation must have gotten lost in the mail.

Marti

Mom...

Wanda

Did you really think I wouldn't find out? I am Facebook friends with half your squad!

Marti

Oh my God! Who are you?

Savannah

(referring to her dress) I bought this for my date with Dan. What does this dress say?

Marti

Back off, this is my street corner.

Ah, Ms. Perkins. In a court of law, what happens when one party is late?

Marti

The, um, late party is held in contempt.

That's correct. But that's not the real punishment. Does anyone know what the real punishment is? Mr. Pepper?

The judge and jury, those who dictate the outcome of your case, they won't take you seriously.

Thank you, Mr. Pepper.

In the American justice system, perception is reality...

Please stop speaking, Mr. Pepper.

Well, I hope you at least learned something.

Marti

I learned the cops around here have no problem lying.

Everyone lies. That's my first rule for successful delegation. You work for the lie, you make it work for you.

Marti

I won't ever forget it.

Look, it's 6:00am. Stop kissing my ass, and start working on that assignment I gave you.

Wanda

(about Lewis) Someone is checking us out, and by 'us', I mean you.

Marti

Do not encourage him.

Wanda

Why the hell not?

Marti

He asked me out and I blew him off.

Wanda

With that body? If you're not interested, I will take a swing at that.

Wanda

You might as well hang a sign around your neck that says, "I'm sexually frustrated." I mean, Marti, are you a lesbian? Come out to Momma.

Marti

(about Lewis) Okay, fine, you know what? I'll go out with him. Just stop talking. Wow! Oh my gosh!

Savannah

I'm impressed. You chose cheerleading over lawyering.

Marti

No. You could've busted me in front of the others for faking but you didn't. I chose you over lawyering...you're a good friend.

Marti

I like that there's a sense of history in the bobble-head community.

Savannah

Yeah, it's really hard to make that nickname sound complimentary.