TV show quotes
[Chin Ho Kelly goes after Frank Delano and finds him trying to hijack a van]
Where do you think you're going?
[shoots one round that somehow misses Chin, who shoots him in the shoulder. Chin closes door of van and aims shotgun at Delano, who's out of ammo] You're not gonna kill me. You said it yourself. You're not a dirty cop, Chin. Only a dirty cop would shoot an unarmed man. [Chin Ho pauses before firing shotgun pointblank]
[Danny meets Steve just after he saw off Doris]
You okay? Your mother said that she exchanged gunfire with Wo Fat, right?
Yeah, right before he escaped out the window. Why?
Crime lab just finished processing the safe house. Found evidence of only one weapon being fired in that bedroom. Ballistics matched it to the gun that Catherine gave Doris.
All right? All three slugs were pulled out of the floor.
So either your mother is a terrible shot, or she deliberately tried not to shoot Wo Fat.
You're saying you think she let him get away?
No, I'm asking: why didn't she kill him when she had the chance?
[August March is unmasked over killing Angela Branson and an indirect role in a lithograph heist]
Any idea how your prints ended up on the stolen artwork? I mean, gloves. That's what I would have done. I mean, I figure an old pro like you would know to wear gloves.
Thirty years in prison made you rusty, March.
Maybe it's just old age.
Maybe.
I'm not going back to jail.
I don't think you have a choice.
What are my options?
I don't think you understand. You-you don't have any options.
[Over dinner with the gang at the Honolulu Hilton, Chin Ho reflects on how he met Malia]
The very first time I laid eyes on Malia, was right here on this beach. I was, uh, staying here at the Hilton while my apartment was getting repainted. There she was. She was riding these little ankle slappers, and she still managed to lose her board. ... I found her board, of course, but I told her she couldn't get it back until she agreed to go out to dinner with me... It didn't quite work out, though. She told me I could keep it. And then, about a week later, I get a knock on my door from some surf shop saying that the board is actually theirs, and I owe them five days rental...When she heard the news, um, she felt pity on me, and she called me.
I told you, if you wanna catch anything today, Danny, we gotta trawl.
No, no, no. Trawling is not fishing. That is you just driving around on a boat, just like you driving my car.
Time out. I thought the mission today was to get you your first tuna.
Why does everything have to be a mission?!
The goal is to help you catch your ahi.
[interrupts Steve] There's no goal. There's no mission. We are just fishing. What that means is, we relax, we have a couple of laughs. Maybe we catch a fish, maybe we do not.
All right. Well, this right here, this is called sitting on a boat and not catching anything. Just so you know.
Fine. That's where the beer comes in. [goes to the cooler to get two bottles of beer]
Save your energy. I'm gonna tow us, ok?
How are you gonna tow us? We're miles away from land.
Just relax Danny, I've done it before.
Oh you've done it before. I see, 'cause you like this, huh? [Steve smirks at Danny ranting] This is fun for you, you enjoy this, this is a challenge for you, right? That skills test. "Be all you can be" and all that crap?!
[deadpan] That's the Army.
[spots a shark behind Steve] Right behind you!! Get in the boat!! Get back in the boat! [Steve climbs back onto the inflatable dinghy]
It's a dinghy.
It's a dinghy, huh? Even in the face of death you are annoying.
Woah, that's a tiger shark, man.
Tiger shark.
Yeah
Well, no big deal then right? Have you seen Shark Week? I don't wanna be like Shark Week, all right?! If that thing gets near you, you punch it in the nose, trust me.
I'm not gonna punch it in the nose.
That's what you're supposed to do! Otherwise it eats your hand. I'm telling you. I know this stuff.
I'm not gonna disrespect this animal by provoking it.
Don't get all "island" on me now, ok?
[The US Coast Guard catches Danny and Steve at a yacht with a dead body aboard]
What else wrong do you think could happen? Maybe, if we're lucky, they'll have a trial at sea and they'll make us walk the plank.
Just relax.
Hey, there ain't going to be too many more relaxes, okay?
Look at it like this: You're going to have a great story to tell Grace one day.
And the moral of that story is this: Never go deep-sea fishing with a Navy SEAL. No, no, scratch that-never go fishing with you.
Should've used you for bait.
Sorry for the misunderstanding, Commander McGarrett, Detective Williams. Member of your team verified your credentials.
Well, next time I get forced into the ocean at gunpoint, I'll be sure to have my credentials.
[The gang eats at Kamekona's with a tuna fish Danno caught as the main course. Everyone agrees that the poke tastes good.]
I'll leave this with you, then. [gives Danny a piece of paper]
What is this?
It's a bill.
I see that it's a bill, but why are you giving it to me? I brought you a fish what are you charging me for?
My cooking services.
What?
Superior life skills.
What is that, like a corkage fee?
Exactly.
Oh, cooking what? What'd you cook? It's raw fish. You didn't cook anything.
All right, you brought me fish, I gave you a meal.
[Steve is woken up by a sound from downstairs and Catherine is now awake because of him. Steve gets his gun.]
[sees Catherine taking the baseball bat] What do you think you're doing?
There's somebody downstairs.
Which is why you're gonna stay up here where it's safe.
[scoffs] Oh, don't be a caveman. I'm coming with you.
[sternly] No. You're not.
Then you're coming with me. [tiptoes out of the room]
[Steve and Catherine enter the kitchen]
[points his gun at the "intruder"] Don't move! ["intruder" turns around and it's Doris] Mom?
Hi, honey.
What are you doing?
Uh, making eggs.
No, I mean, what are you doing here?
Stop playing with your gun and come have breakfast. Do you want orange juice? [Steve is speechless] [to Catherine] Good morning, Lieutenant Rollins. I, uh, hope I wasn't interrupting anything.
[to Catherine] I told you it was safer upstairs.
So what, she breaks into your house and just starts cooking?
Yeah, pretty much.
That's very strange. Although, she is a McGarrett after all.
[Steve sends Chin Ho Kelly to keep watch over his mother at home, even bring her some food]
Well, I hope you don't mind, but Steve asked me to bring you by some breakfast.
Oh, how nice. Except, um, the thing is I've already made breakfast and Steve knows that, so I really hope you're a better cop than you are a liar.
Excuse me?
Coco puffs from Liliha Bakery. [takes a piece] Ah, that is really good work. I mean, appealing to my nostalgic side and everything, well, I'm sure Steve told you that I used to bring these every Sunday morning to him and his sister -but if there's one thing I learned at the CIA about using a diversionary technique, it's, um, avoid the obvious.
They're just coco puffs.
They're still really delicious. They're even better with a cup of coffee.
Okay.
You can tell my son that whether or not he cares to acknowledge it, I've been taking care of myself since before he was born and I'm actually pretty damn good at it. So, you can stay here and have that cup of coffee, talk Kukui High football, if you want that, I'm game -but if you're here just to babysit me, you can leave right now. But the coco puffs stay with me.
I'll take my coffee black.
Good choice.
[serves Catherine her shrimp and rice] Whoa, that's twice in one day. You're getting to be a regular regular.
What can I say? This stuff is addictive.
Mm-hmm. Beauty and brains. Where have you been all of my life?
How do I look?
You look like you're ready to report to SEAL Team Six, pal.
Yeah? For real?
For real.
'Cause I was thinking. I know you said no weapons and all?
Yeah?
But if you let me borrow some of those smoke grenades, I'm really gonna look legit.
What could possibly go wrong?
You know, no, no. We discussed that earlier. No, no, uh, heavy ordnances, okay?
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Hawaii Five-0 pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
