Shane quotes from Grey's Anatomy

Shane

Interns are like sexual catnip at this hospital.

Callie

Okay. Is no one making small talk because this is Derek Shepherd on the table? This is intricate work. Small talk is what keeps us awake.

Shane

Well, uh a couple of days ago, I helped Dr. Kepner extract a malignant mass from the gluteal area of a female patient. It was an impressively sized mass.

Callie

[unimpressed] Who's gonna tell Dr. Shepherd that he'll never operate again because Ross' idea of gossip is, he saw April Kepner take a lump off an ass?

Derek

I think you're letting me win.

You're a smart man.

Derek

I am.

Shane

So am I. That's why I'm absolutely letting you win. Whupping your ass wouldn't be a smart move, especially since you're a competitive guy who likes to win.

Derek

Do you know who else is a competitive guy, Ross? A neurosurgeon. I thought you had what it takes to be one.

Shane

Mm. See? I am a smart man, and you are now goading me. But you won't like it when you lose.

Derek

Oh, "when" I lose?

Shane

You'll be angry and never want to see my face. That won't help me on my quest to become you.

Derek

Yeah, I've told you, it's creepy when you say that.

Shane

Dr. Shepherd?

Derek

Ross?

Shane

Sorry to bother you, sir, but I was hoping to scrub in with you today, and I'm supposed to be on Dr. Grey's service. So I was wondering - if maybe you could talk to your wife for me.

Meredith

[seethes] I'm gonna kill him. [flings open the door] No, Ross, he cannot talk to his wife for you, because you are with me, and we have a consult with a pregnant lady with abdominal pain. So go do the workup, and I will see you there. [slams the door]

Derek

[grins to himself] Ahhh...I am liking the stupid hormones.

Meredith

Do. Not. Say. Anything.

Shane

I am so so sorry.

Meredith

Wow. Is this you not saying anything?! Go away and do not come back without a liver.

Shane

Um, can I get you a tissue?

Meredith

GO!!!!!!!!

Derek

Just start with the positive news, be confident and don't make any promises you can't keep. You're my voice out there.

I'll channel you. It'll be fine.

Derek

Yes.

Shane

I'm Derek Shepherd. "It's a beautiful day to save lives." [Derek glares at him] I'll channel you in my own voice.

Derek

[deadpan] Thank you.

Derek

I went out to the Hoh River to fish winter steelhead. For hours, I tried to cast like I'd practiced. But if you over try, it'll never happen. And then just once, the rod loaded perfectly. The line formed a tight loop and the fly just danced out over the river about seventy feet. It had a life of its own. See, the key was to relax, feel the rhythm and let the rod do the work. Just one perfect cast.

Shane

Why'd you tell me that?

Derek

Did it calm you down?

Shane

Yeah.

Derek

Right now I am about to remove a hematoma from Broca's area and if I am not careful, she'll never speak again. There is a lot to be afraid of. Patients will be afraid. Parents will be afraid. And the only way to get through it is for you to stay calm.

Stephanie

Just finished an craniotomy with Dr. Shepherd.

Shane

Shepherd or Shepherdess?

Stephanie

Shepherdess.

Amelia

"Shepherdess"? Really?

Shane

Uh, sorry. It's just very confusing.

Amelia

I kind of like it, Shepherdess.

Stephanie

Oh, well, before, it was just "Shepherd's little sister."

Amelia

Edwards, do you like working on neuro? Don't ever say that to me again.