Cristina Yang quotes from Grey's Anatomy

Cristina

Oh, that kills you, doesn't it?

Alex

What?

Cristina

That two women got the harvest.

Alex

No, it kills me that anybody got the harvest, but me. Boobs do not factor into this equation. Unless you want to show me yours.

Meredith

I'm going to become a lesbian.

Cristina

Me too.

George

Who else did you invite?

Cristina

Izzie, we said the list was jocks only. Surgery, Trauma, Plastics. Who else?

Izzie

Just some people from Peds.

Cristina

You invited the preschoolers to Meredith’s house? The next thing you’ll say is you invited the shrinks.

Cristina

She invited mental defects. This party’s DOA.

George

Yang. I'm scrubbing in on a hemospherectomy with Shepherd.

Cristina

[gasps] Get out! I would kill for that.

George

We're cutting out half a girl's brain, and it's going to work. It's outrageous. Almost makes it hard to hate him.

Cristina

Why do you hate him?

George

Oh, no reason.

Cristina

Oh, you know about him and Meredith?

George

You know?

Cristina

When are you gonna figure out that I know everything?

George

[to Izzie who is walking up the stairs] She knows.

Izzie

Oh, about doctorcest?

Cristina

It's been going on for, like, ever.

Izzie

Wha... seriously?

George

And you didn't tell us?

Cristina

Oh, you're a gossip, huh?

George

I am not!

Izzie

I am!

George

He's about to go into major brain surgery on no sleep? Not very responsible.

Cristina

Jealous much? Sex all night isn't about being responsible.

Izzie

No, it's about sex all night. I can't believe you're not more pissed off about this, you of all people.

Cristina

Well, she works hard all day. She's good at her job, why should you care how she unwinds? I mean you like to bake all night, some people like to drink, others like an occasional screaming orgasm.

Alex

[Walking up] Yeah we do.

Cristina

Hey Syph-boy!

George

You told her?

Izzie

Just Cristina.

Alex

Syph-boy. It's got a nice ring to it; kind of like Super-boy, only diseased.

Meredith

Let's play a game of whose life sucks the most. I'll win. I always win.

Cristina

You don't want to play with me.

Meredith

Oh, I do. I'll even go first. Derek's married. [George spits out his beer]

Cristina

George. Beer is dripping from your nostrils.

Meredith

Told you I'd win.

Cristina

No, you didn't win.

Meredith

Did you hear me? I said Derek is married, as in pig-headed, adulterous, liar married. Nothing you could say could top that.

Cristina

I'm pregnant. I win. [Joe, the bartender, collapses] Okay, maybe Joe wins.

Cristina

The clinic has a policy. They wouldn't let me confirm my appointment unless I designated an emergency contact person. Someone to be there just in case and... to know help me home, you know, after. Anyway I put your name down, that's why I told you I'm pregnant. You're my person.

Meredith

I am?

Cristina

Yeah, you are. Whatever.

Meredith

Whatever.

Cristina

He dumped me. [Meredith hugs Cristina] You realize this constitutes hugging?

Meredith

Shut up, I'm your person.

Meredith

It's not us. It's them. Them and their stupid boy... penises. They didn't tell me they have a wife. They gave absolutely no warning that they were going to break up with you.

Cristina

It's not that Burke broke up with me. It's how he broke up with me. Like it was business. Like it was a business trans- Like he's a boss of me!

Meredith

He is the boss of you.

Cristina

What's worse is that I care.

Meredith

Ugh I'm going to throw up again. [Gets up and kneels over the toilet] No. Wait. False alarm.

Cristina

The problem is estrogen.

Meredith

No, the problem is tequila.

Cristina

You know I used to be all business and then he goes and gets me pregnant.

Meredith

With his stupid boy penis.

Cristina

Now I'm having hormone surges. He ruined me. I'm ruined! He turned me into this... fat, stupid, pregnant girl. Who cares! Estrogen!

Meredith

Penises. Penises, Izzie.

Cristina

Estrogen, George.

Cristina

That does not look comfortable.

Meredith

Trust me, it's not.

Burke

Cristina, you paged me?

Cristina

If I don't find this leg, the chief is going to cut me from this program, and I cannot go back home, Burke. It is too sunny in Los Angeles. It's sunny every day.

Burke

You paged me because?

Cristina

I need you to help me find the leg! I checked the board, you're not in surgery, right? You're my boyfriend! I mean, I know I don't have much experience with this kind of thing but, aren't boyfriends supposed to help in situations like this?

Burke

Cristina, when we're on duty I can't be your boyfriend.

Cristina

OK, so, uh, when we're on duty, I can have sex with someone else?

Burke

[pause] Dr. Yang, I'm walking away now.

Meredith? You work here?

Meredith

What are you doing here, Steve?

I'm having a little problem.

Cristina

Steve, Steve?

Actually, I'm having a big problem.

Meredith

What?

Cristina

[Still staring] Steve, hi! Cristina.

Ever since you and I [Meredith follows Cristina's gaze and does a double-take]it won't go away.

Meredith

Cristina!

Cristina

What? It's right there, looking at me! There are so many things I could say right now — Champ!

Burke

I believe there's a mind-body-spirit connection. And if Justin really doesn't want this heart, his body will reject it.

Cristina

Okay, let me get this straight. You don't just celebrate Christmas, you actually believe in Santa Claus?

Cristina

We're in an elevator. That's your specialty, right? McDreamy moments in elevators?

Derek

Dr. Yang...

Cristina

You know what? For just a moment, I'm not Dr. Yang and you're not Dr. Shepherd. You're the guy who screwed up my friend. The guy who drove her to get a dog she can't keep, the dog she only got because her boyfriend lied to her about his wife.

Derek

I never lied to her.

Cristina

You know, I know a liar when I see one because I'm a liar. You want me to lie to the patient? Fine, I'll lie.

Cristina

You have a feeling?

Meredith

Yes.

Cristina

Okay, what kind of feeling?

Meredith

Like I might die.

Cristina

Today? Tomorrow? In 50 years? We're all going to die eventually. Now we're late! Let's go!

Meredith

Cristina. C'mon!

Cristina

This is me being supportive.

Meredith

Really?

Cristina

Yeah, fine, I'm totally supportive. Go.

Meredith

OK. The man I love has a wife and then he chooses her over me. And that wife takes my dog — OK, she didn't take the dog, I gave it to her, but I didn't mean to give it to her, I meant to give it to him — but that does not change the fact that she's got my McDreamy. And my McDog. She's got my McLife! And what have I got? [sits up] You know, I can't remember the last time we kissed. 'Cause you never think the last time is the last time, you think there'll be more. You think you have forever, but you don't. Plus my conditioner decided to stop working and I think I have brittle bones. I just - I just need something to happen. I need a sign that things are gonna change. I need a reason to go on. I need some hope. And in the absence of hope, I need to stay in bed and feel like I might die today.

Cristina

[throws back blanket] Whatever - everybody has problems. Now get your ass out of bed and get to work. NOW! Move! Move! Move! [Opens the door to find Izzie and George] We're good to go.

Meredith

Cristina. I have my hand on a bomb. I'm freaking out. And most importantly, I really have to pee. Tell me anything.

Cristina

He told me he loved me. Last night, he thought I was sleeping, but I heard him say it.

Meredith

Burke loves you.

Cristina

Yeah. [To Dylan] Mind your own business.

Meredith

Burke loves you!

Cristina

Yeah everybody has problems.

Meredith

Well are you gonna say it back, or-

Cristina

Of course not! He didn't say it to me, he said it to sleeping me! Reciprocity is not required. Besides he might blow up.

Meredith

Excellent point.

Alright everybody. Let's just keep placing one foot in front of the other. [gives Cristina an 'I told you so' look] Nice and slow. Alright, Meredith? We're almost there.

Meredith

Okay.

We're almost there. Nice and easy, ready? Alright let's go. Nice and slow.

Cristina

You had to say you were going to die today.

Meredith

I told you.

George

Why is he suturing his own face?

Cristina

To turn me on.

Alex

Because he's Mark Sloan, he's like the go-to plastic surgeon on the east coast.

George

That's the guy Addison was sleeping with?

Izzie

You can't really blame her, can you?

Cristina

No, not really.

George

Yes, you can.

Meredith

McSexy wants an X-ray to check for fractures and I think it's a bad idea if I take him.

George

Why? Why?

Alex

I'm on it.

George

Why's it a bad idea?

Cristina

McSexy?

Meredith

No?

Izzie

McYummy?

No.

Meredith

McSteamy.

Cristina

Aw, there it is.

Izzie

Yep.

George

Just choking back some... McVomit.