[on TV] This just in! Stanford Pines loses! [a picture of Stan with the word "DISQUALIFIED" on it is shown]
[watching] WHAT?!
Despite winning an overwhelming 95% of the vote, election officials had to disqualify him, due to discovery of an extensive criminal record.
Oh boy...
Stan, what did you do?!
What didn't I do?
[reading through papers] Crimes include shoplifting, teaching bears to drive, a new crime he invented called "burgle-bezzlement", first-degree "llama-cide"...?
[shakes fist] That llama knew too much!
Due to this shocking development, it would appear the mayorship passes to the only candidate who actually filled out their paperwork: local enthusiasm enthusiast Tyler Cutebiker.
[Tyler is shown on a podium, with Sheriff Blubs and Deputy Durland giving him a mayoral sash and a bouquet of flowers as a crowd cheers]
[blushing] Got it.
[is handed a gigantic stack of paper to read from] We will dedicate the rest of this broadcast to listing Stan's crimes: first-degree thermometer theft, pug trafficking...
[Before Stan turns off the TV, a list is shown reading: "FIRST-DEGREE THERMOMETER THEFT. PUG TRAFFICKING. SNACKS EVASION. PICKPOCKETING. WOODPECKER BAITING. IMPERSONATING A DENTIST. GENERAL INDECENCY. GOLF CART THEFT. BINGO FRAUD. TELLING JOKES THAT JUST GO ON AND ON, I MEAN, I HAVE THINGS TO DO TODAY, REALLY."]
Whew! At least they didn't list any of the bad ones! On an unrelated topic, I have a lot of cheap pugs and I need to move them fast.
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