Alfred Pennyworth quotes from Gotham

The faces. I see them at night... when I'm alone. The faces... the faces of those we killed. Do you?

Alfred Pennyworth

I don't have to look for them, Reg. They find me.

Alfred Pennyworth

I mean, a bomb, inside the house? I mean, you're having a laugh, ain't ya? A bomb?

Bruce Wayne

I was going to tell you. I wanted to present it as a fait accompli.

Alfred Pennyworth

Don't start talking French to me.

Bruce Wayne

It's ruined! Why would you do that? Answer me!

Alfred Pennyworth

It had to be done, Master Bruce.

Bruce Wayne

This was the key to exposing Wayne Enterprises. Everything I worked for, everything my dad worked for, is now gone! Because of you!

Alfred Pennyworth

If I knew what was down here, I would have never helped get you in. Look around you, look! Liters of blood. A bulletproof vest with two studs in it. Bullets, guns! Whatever is on that computer probably killed your dad, and I'll be damned if I watch you suffer the same fate, Master Bruce. I'm trying to protect you. I'm trying to keep you safe.

Bruce Wayne

I want you to go.

Alfred Pennyworth

I know you're upset...

Bruce Wayne

No! I want you to go, and never come back. Understand? You're fired.

Alfred Pennyworth

Very well, Master Bruce. As you wish.

Alfred Pennyworth

You know, I once knew this geezer called Onslow in the Isle of Dogs, in the East End of London. Leery little scallywag he was, he was too smiley by half. Never trusted. Anyway, Lucius, one day he comes bowling up to me, and he asks me to do him this right iffy favor. Oh, it doesn't matter what it was. The point being, against my better judgement... I agreed to do it. But Lucius, I told him, I told him straight, "You let me down, Onslow, I will tuck you up, Sunshine. Like a kipper." He swears blind, swears on his mother's grave he would never do such a thing, but of course he did. Couldn't help himself, he let me down. So I tucked him up. Like a kipper.

Lucius Fox

...What is a kipper?

Alfred Pennyworth

It's a type of smoked fish. Very nice with eggs and brown toast for breakfast. [Lucius nods] But what I learned from Onslow is this: there are two types of people on this planet, you see. Them you can trust... and them you can't.

Lucius Fox

I cannot disagree.

Alfred Pennyworth

Which kind are you?

Lucius Fox

Both kinds of people would give you the same answer, wouldn't they?

Alfred Pennyworth

Exactly. Exactly right. There lieth the problem, Lucius; you see, I need to confide in you. And I need to know that you're trustworthy.

Lucius Fox

Perhaps I should decline your confidence; I don't like the sound of these 'kippers.'

Alfred Pennyworth

Yeah, well it's a bit late for that, unfortunately. I mean, it's you, after all, Lucius, that created this mess when you told young Master Bruce that his dear old dead dad was a 'stoic'.

Lucius Fox

Ah.

Alfred Pennyworth

Ah, exactly. See, there's a problem: I've got no one else to turn to. I have to confide in you.

Lucius Fox

[nods] I see.

Alfred Pennyworth

Do you? I mean, just to be crystal clear about this: If it turns out that I can't trust you... I swear on my mother's grave, you, my old sausage... are a dead man.

Lucius Fox

I have only the best intentions for Bruce Wayne.

Alfred Pennyworth

[to the barman] Another gin-and-tonic please, guvner, and whatever this young man's drinking, one for yourself. [to Lucius] How are you at fixing computers?

Alfred Pennyworth

Besides, there's going to be a magician. And you like magicians, don't you?

Bruce Wayne

No, I don't. I hate magicians.

Alfred Pennyworth

You know what I said about being normal?

Dr. Leslie Thompkins

So, uh, how do you go from being in the Royal Marines to a butler?

Alfred Pennyworth

Well, it is a bit tedious after a while. You know, parachuting into one global hot spot after another. Warlords putting ridiculous bounties on your head. Gets a bit boring, really.

Alfred Pennyworth

Yeah, well, that's... not an offer, is it? That's bloody extortion.

Bruce Wayne

Yeah, well, I can't help but consider it, Alfred.

Alfred Pennyworth

Well, you shouldn't.

Bruce Wayne

There's a fine line between extortion and negotiation.

Alfred Pennyworth

Yes, there is, Master Bruce, but there's still a line.

Alfred Pennyworth

How do we know you haven't stitched us up? I mean, you've switched sides often enough. How do we know that you're not working with Galavan now?

Selina Kyle

How do I know you're not a Martian in a rubber suit?

Bruce Wayne

[in a letter to Alfred] Alfred, I have left home for awhile to live on the streets with Selina. Please, wait and listen before you react. You need not worry that I'm in danger or that I have lost my mind. I've thought long and hard about this decision, and I know it's the right one. Malone's death made me realize a couple of things. You can't kill murder. You can't get revenge on evil. You can only begin to fight such things by not doing them. You can only fight them where they live, not just at Wayne Enterprises. In the streets, in the slums, in the bad parts of town. So that's where I'm going.

Alfred Pennyworth

He's lost his mind.

Bruce Wayne

I'm not going to start battling muggers or anything, but one day I am going to do something to help the people of Gotham. I don't know what yet, but I will. Meantime, I need to learn stuff. Number one, I need to learn how to live in the same world other people have to live in. Selina's given me a place to sleep, and will show me the ropes. So, like I say, there's no need to worry. I'll be in touch soon, and I'll come home eventually. Please, Alfred, trust me and honor my wishes. Don't try to bring me back. I need to do this. Sincerely, your good friend, Bruce.

Bruce Wayne

I'm going out there, with or without you.

Alfred Pennyworth

Imagine my surprise.

Alfred Pennyworth

Take one more step, mate, and I will put a bullet right between your bloody eyes.

You think that'll stop me, manservant?

Alfred Pennyworth

I'd like to give it a go, if you don't mind.

Bruce Wayne

I have to do this, Alfred. I don't have a choice.

Alfred Pennyworth

Of course you've got a choice, in the same way that I can choose to let you go with my blessing and tell you to bring that little girl home safe, or I take you right now, I can stick you on an airplane and fly you somewhere very far away.

Bruce Wayne

You can't.

Alfred Pennyworth

Don't be such a cluck. Of course I can. But I won't. For the past two years, Master Bruce, all I've tried to do is protect you and keep you safe, thinking that's what your father wanted. But you're not the same boy he left behind, are you? So, I have to ask myself: What would Thomas Wayne do if he were here? Your father took responsibility for his actions. He fought very hard for what he believed in. And I will not stop you from doing the same thing.

Bruce Wayne

How long do I have to stay?

Alfred Pennyworth

As long as takes for you to be seen out in the world, Master Bruce, being Bruce Wayne and smiling.

Bruce Wayne

So this is our life now. Fake smiles and mingling. I miss the old days.

Alfred Pennyworth

So do I.

Harvey Bullock

Wait, this is is the owl? What the hell happened to it?

Alfred Pennyworth

Jerome Valeska smashed it to bits when he broke into the Manor, didn't he? Can you put it back together again?

Harvey Bullock

I can't even do a jigsaw puzzle. I just mash the pieces in with my fists until they fit.

Alfred Pennyworth

Right. Tell me where Bruce Wayne is, or I guarantee you'll regret it.

Jim Gordon

Alfred, I've got this.

Kathryn Monroe

Good cop, bad cop? That routine's a bit tired, isn't it, gentlemen?

Alfred Pennyworth

Yeah. But I'm not a cop, am I? [he jams a knife through her hand] I'm a butler!