Goodness Gracious Me · Season 1
Superman's my favourite superhero.
Ah, well I can understand that. He's so brave, so strong…so Indian.
What?!
Superman: Indian.
No!
Uh-huh. Come on, you've seen the film. He runs faster than a speeding train. There's only one country where you can run faster than the trains!
Think about it, yar! He's got two jobs – Indian. Never takes a day off work – Indian. And how does he get around? Cheap flights!
Check him out in Saturday Night Fever: white suit, kipper tie, big flares. You can tell by the way he used his walk; he's a Hindi man, no time to talk!
And so we commit brave little Geoffrey to the place where all the little hamsters go when they die.
Is that Heaven, Daddy?
No! India!
Think about it, yar! Big beard, huge belly, terrible suit – Indian!
Ranjit the Red-nosed Reindeer had a very shiny naak,
And all the little pixies had to clean up the muck!
Santa shat in the chimney, really blocked up the flue,
And the following Christmas, the whole family turned Hindu!
O little town of Bangalore, how still we see thee lie…
Deck the halls with bowls of chutney, fa-la-la-la-la…
We three Singhs of Orient are…
No, Dad, not the Mona Lisa! She was an Italian noblewoman from the sixteenth century.
Son, this is Mina Losa, a Gujarati washerwoman from Bhavnagar!
Why would Leonardo da Vinci go all the way to Bhavnagar to paint someone?
Because it's quite near where he lived.
Florence?
Faridabad!
Twelve men sitting around a table for dinner. Where are the women? They're in the kitchen!
You've seen his portraits: a nose here, an ear there. Go to Delhi and look at the beggars; they look exactly the same!
He is as Indian as they come. He works for His Father – Indian. Parents have children without having sex – Indian. Fed five thousand people with two loaves and five fishes – Indian picnic!
Moses: the people came unto him with their suffering. He went up the mountain, and came back with two tablets, because he was a pharmacist! Noah: came from a land where it rained for forty days and forty nights – he was Bengali! Walls of Jericho: walk around it seven times, blow a trumpet, the whole thing falls down – Indian builders. And that other fellow, Samson. Huh, big strong man, long hair. Cut his hair, nigh as weak as a child, because he was sikh!
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Goodness Gracious Me pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.