You couldn't share me, so you ruined my life.
I didn't know what Wayne meant to you, Mom. I was ten. I didn't know anything. I thought it would be cool if you married Elton John.
George, Wayne could've made our lives so much better, but you blew it.
I know. I feel horrible about it, but there's nothing I can do. It was a long time ago.
It wasn't a long time ago. He came by the other day and you told him I was dead. You lied. You're always calling me a liar, but you are no better.
Yes, I am. I only lied once.
Really? Is this the first time Wayne has tried to contact me?
(lies) Yes.
(walks over to Ernie)
(scared) He comes by everytime he's single, it's been 7 times in the last 30 years. Oh, he misses you greatly.
7 times.
Okay, so I was raised by the biggest liar in the world. You told me, for my birthday, that you got me a cat, like a special breed, called the nut cat. That squirrel almost tore my whole face off!
At least I didn't ruin your life, I'm gonna die alone thanks to you.
No you're not. I'm gonna find Wayne and I'm gonna fix this, I'm gonna give you guys a second chance.
You told him I was dead.
So? I'll just tell him the truth, and I promise you Mom, when he sees you, he's gonna think you're as beautiful now as you were 30 years ago-- oh qué la, I'm lying now and I can't stop lying! (runs out the house)
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