Sgt Brad Colbert quotes from Generation Kill

Wake up, Trombley. You're missing the invasion.

Look at this, gents. Little more than 48 hours into the war and First Marine Division, out of Camp Pendleton, Oceanside, California, is rolling with impunity on Saddam's highway.

That song is straight homosexual, country music, special Olympic gay.

Fucking officers will be the death of us yet.

Sir, the main weapon on your point vehicle is unreliable. Given the prevailing climatic conditions, using this lubricant...is like trying to buttfuck a virgin, underage Phuket whore with chalk, when K-Y is clearly called for, Sir.

Find the reporter, Trombley. If Little Miss Rolling Stone gets run over by an Iraqi tank, Ray's band won't make the cover.

Poke, what the fuck are you anyway? Your wife is half white, you talk like you’re black, Most of your friends are fucking white and, every once in a while, when you feel like it, you throw in with the Indians. Is it just you’re whatever race happens to be cool at the moment?

Cpl Walt Hasser

Stove underneath Rudy's espresso pot went off like a forty mike-mike.

Flamed white boy's face like a rotisserie chicken.

Let me understand this. My RTO has just been burned, in his tent, by an exploding portable stove; And without my RTO I will be going to war unable to quickly and effectively establish radio communications within our unit, with other elements of the battalion, and with close air support. Is this what is happening?

That and they're probably gonna NJP all our asses for operating a stove in the tent against the regs.

Over an espresso maker. This platoon is going down over an espresso maker.

SgtMaj John Sixta

Jesus Christ! What is you some kind of goddamn hippie faggot? What the fuck is this? Devil Dog, why the fuck is your shirt out of your regulation?

Sergeant Major, is there a problem? My Marines have been working on that Humvee all morning!

SgtMaj John Sixta

I don't care if your Marine has a suckin' chest wound! He will not traipse around on the deck with his shirt tails hangin' out! Might just NJP all your asses!

Yes, Sergeant Major. Corporal Person, be advised; you are expected to conduct all business in this camp in compliance with the grooming standard. By direct order of the battalion commander himself.

SgtMaj John Sixta

Sgt. Patrick. Your mustache hairs is in violations, growing beyond the corner of your mouth. I hear Godfather hisself say, you look like a bum. (beat) Police that mustache! (Turns to the other Marines) Y'all startin' to look like Elvises!

Look at this shit. How come we can't ever invade a cool country, with like chicks in bikinis, you know? How come countries like that don't ever need Marines? I'll tell you why. It's lack of pussy that fucks countries up. Lack of pussy is the root fucking cause of all global instability. If more hajis were getting quality pussy, there'd be no reason for us to come over here and fuck 'em up like this! Cause a nut-bustin' haji is a happy haji.

[Trying not to laugh] So, this war's not about oil, or WMD's?

Nope!

And it's not about Saddam?

No, Saddam's just part of the problem. If you took the whole gay-ass Republican Guard and comped their asses in Vegas for a weekend- no fuckin' war! Look, if Saddam invested more in the pussy infrastructure of Iraq than he did on his fuckin' gay-ass army, then this country would be no more fucked up than, say, Mexico.

Ray. [Ray pauses and looks at Colbert.] Please shut up. Thank you.

Hey!

What d'ya got?

I just waved at an Iraqi and he waved back, that was cool.

Good, Garza. Be magnanimous.

What the fuck does that mean?

Lofty and king-like.

Our first contact with armed Iraqi's and we wave at 'em... like bitches.

Know what happens when you get out of the Marine Corps? You get your brains back.

We're Marines. We obey our orders. Our mission now is not to do our original mission.

Semper Gumby, always flexible.

LCpl. Harold James Trombley

Yo, lets shoot some of these dogs.

Trombley, I keep telling you, we don’t shoot dogs, we shoot people. And we generally only shoot people if we have to.

I’m betting that they were thinking that they could just, you know, leave a fully loaded supply truck laying around, just like you could anywhere in America, you know. I mean, you park your unlocked car in Detroit or Baltimore, I mean, your shit’s going to be there, guaranteed, when you get back from the day spa with your skin all exfoliated and shit, right. I mean, seriously homes, why would our Iraqi brethren want four hundred pounds of C4, claymores and crates of M-16’s? I mean, it just doesn’t make any sense. Oh wait, you know they could be using all that C4 for like a giant Fourth of July celebration! [Looks up at Colbert, who is sitting on the Humvee nearby] What do you think, Brad?

I think it's time for you to shut the fuck up.