JJon
We'll go to that new multiplex in town. They have 37 screens.
Garfield: All of which will be showing Kung-Fu Creatures on the Rampage 2. [from Video Airlines]
All S1
Quotes from Garfield
"Odie, that is not a watch. That is a head of cabbage. There is a difference." ~Garfield [from Dirty Business]
JJon
I'll put a stop to this or my name is mud!
Garfield: "Mud" should be back any minute now.
Jon: (returns, covered with mud on his face) Hello, my name is Mud.
Garfield: We were expecting you. [ from Dirty Business]
JJon
Garfield look at you! You need to get in shape!
Garfield: Round is a shape.
[to viewers] From time to time on this show, we like to bring you something a little educational. [a hand holding a remote control appears, startling Garfield] No, no! Don't change channels! It's not that educational.
BBinky
HEEEEEEEEYYYY, CAT!!! Aren't ya thrilled to see me?!
Garfield: No.
:Binky: I'm the handyman, who's gonna fix up your house!!
Garfield: Note the worried look on the cat's face. [from Binky Gets Cancelled]
Garfield (to Odie) Rule number 1 in being a sidekick. Never dress better than the hero. [from The Caped Avenger]
JJon
It is a great honor to be in your presence, Your Highness.
Sultan: Oh, you don't have to call me Your Highness. Now, you can call me Ali. Or you can call me Wally. Or you can call me Ben. Or you can call me Benny. Or you can call me Ali Ben. Or you can call me Ali Ben, Jr. Or you can call me Junior. Or you can call me Ali, Jr. Or you can call me Sonny. Or you can call me Ali Benny, Jr. Or you can call me Junie. Or you can call Johnny. Or you can call me Benjie. Or you can call me Benjie, Jr. Or you can call me Ray. Or you can call me Jay. Or you can call me Ray Jay. Or you can call me R.J.J. [from Ally Katta and the 40 Thieves]
JJon
That's not a hot dog! That's a hot dog truck! I hope you feel like a complete idiot! [from the quickie Hot Dog Truck]
RRalph
I got you this time, dog.
:Garfield: Ahem! (points to himself) Me, cat. (points to Ralph) You, dog catcher.
:Mr. Mendelberg(Ralph's boss): Ralph, put that cat down. You are the most incompetent dog catcher on the whole squad.
:Ralph: But... but Mr. Mendelberg.
:Mr. Mendelberg: One more mistake and you're fired! [from the episode Identity Crisis]
[He and Jon step into Dr. Garbonzo Bean's lab to find hundreds of robotic duplicates of Odie.] It's an odie fest! [suddenly gets licked by two Robodies in succession] Just what I needed: a team slurp. [from Robodie]
PPenelope
[In a jungle fantasy] Here is the famous professor of jungle sciences, deep in the forest, wondering where she should camp for the night. [a pride of lions jump out from the bushes] Here she is, considering a good motel in St. Louis. [from The Guy of Her Dreams]
Quotes from U.S. Acres
It's National Don't Mention Meat Or Someone Will Hit You With a Banana Cream Pie Day! If you mention a kind of meat, someone will hit you with a banana cream pie!
Roy: What? You mean I'll get hit with a banana cream pie if I mention, oh say, prime rib? (a pie hits him) That's a lot of baloney! (another pie hits him) Who do I complain to? I have a real beef! (a third pie hits him) Y'know what?! There's just too much at stake! (a fourth pie hits him) I said stake. S-T-A-K-E. Not steak, S-T-E-A-K. (a fifth pie hits him)
(After Roy has quit the show) Wade: Roy's quit for good? Oh, now we are in a stew! (Hit with a pie)
Orson: Wade, that's what you get for being so frank. (Hit with a pie) [from Big Bad Buddy Bird]
...Maybe you'll look like me.
Sheldon: Are you trying to scare me? [from Shell Shocked Sheldon]
Roy, why are you playing the wake-up call now? It's nine-thirty!
Roy: I'm on daylight savings' time. [from Return of Power Pig]
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Garfield and Friends pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.